Tony Robbins: Our Beliefs Shape Our Reality  ( Tony Robbins Law of Attraction )
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it has to be a compelling vision it's gotta have something has the power to pull you not something you have to push yourself to do those are two different kinds of motivation push requires willpower and willpower never lasts what will last is pull having something so exciting so attractive so something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night you get so up early in the morning to rock it and take it to the next level that's what you're looking to create and that wasn't easy to get but one of the reasons we do seminars and events be saying you know why do that why isn't why not just read a book or something is because when you give an environment where you're with people that are being put in a peak state like when you're going to a sporting event if you watch the sporting event at home it might have a certain level of excitement but when you're in a stadium with 50,000 people suddenly it has a whole different level of intensity when we feel that and the bottom line of our follow-through comes down into our emotional intensity in a different state of mind you're gonna come up with a much better and more exciting vision than if you're sitting the couch going okay what am i new resolutions for this year and you're doing it the morning after the new year started and you're a little inebriated and the football games on the background probably not gonna have the power of focus they're probably not gonna have a power the energy to create something that's gonna pull you for this year and you got to do that so it's got to be a vision that's compelling something that you know it's gonna be a gift to make sure that it happens and also along with that compelling vision you gotta have strong enough reasons that you're gonna follow through when the going gets tough that's one of the biggest things missing for most people they said this is what I want to do it's not very exciting it's not very compelling but most importantly they don't have strong enough reasons to push themselves through what's gonna be necessary to get that dream to get that goal when the inevitable challenges come up when you're starving hungry and you're trying to go on a diet right when you got no time you're stressed out you haven't worked out still that's what you're supposed to do when the economy gets tight and what you thought you're gonna do it doesn't work and so you give up on the goal instead of finding another way to get there you don't let the fear take you over if you've got strong enough reasons those reasons can be positive where those reasons can also be negative they can be if I don't do this it's gonna cost me and if I do to this this is what I'm gonna gain in my life reasons come first answers come second if you get a compelling vision and you got strong enough reasons that will push you through the tough times you're gonna do things that the people don't do instead of collapsing even if you get off target you won't go oh I blew it you'll get right back on target make the change make things happen and I know you've done this in many areas your life just think about it again and I'm not teaching you something really new here today I just want to remind you of what your soul knows you got to change you got to improve and you've got to go through a simple process fundamentally to make that progress first step vision that's compelling second step make sure that they're strong enough reasons to follow through third step you've got to review it and feel it every day I mean anything have you ever had this happen in your life has there been anything in your life that you've ever wanted so badly you were so desirous of it you have such a hunger for it that you couldn't stop thinking about it could been a career move could have been when you're a kid a car it could have been a relationship that could have been anything but you were obsessed you wanted to make this happen you wanted to attract this to your life you wanna you just wanted something and you didn't even know how to get it but it was so compelling to you kept thinking about it every day and visioning and imagining it feeling it and then stuff happened and suddenly you started attract people or situations to your life and it just came together like you didn't even have a total plan it was just that it was so a part of your focus with so much intensity and emotion so often that it sensitized you to notice anything that could get you there there's a part of your brain called the reticular activating system for short we call it the RAS that part of your brain determines what you notice in the world and it's really important because when you set a goal when you get really clear in a vision they're strong enough reasons and you review it enough then it becomes a part of you that part of your brain says anything that relates to this I need to notice it's like did you ever buy a certain kind of car or maybe a certain outfit and suddenly you see that car everywhere are those outfits everywhere you know the cars were always around but why do you see it now because your Ras knows this is important this is part of my world now similarly when you really get clear and it's compelling and you're reviewing it every day got strong reasons you're viewing it every day and you're feeling it the brain becomes incredibly acute at noticing anything to get you to move forward and so that's the power of this so you know what do people do with New Year's resolution they come up with something they kind of want it's not a compelling vision they don't really have strong enough reasons and they never review it again until they notice that they broke what they said they really want to have make happen because they didn't really resolve if you resolve you got the vision it's compelling you review it daily and you feel it you envision it and you experience it simple as it sounds now ultimately what is this really about ultimately if you're gonna have lasting change in anything you're really talking about just raising your standards I mean I always tell people if you want to know how to change your life and give it to you in three words boring as it sounds raise your standards what does that mean corny as it sounds raise your standards I'll thank you for the breakthrough thought Tony I'm glad I wasted my time watching this little email with you but think about it lasting change is different than a goal you don't always get your goals but you always get your standards maybe they'll help you is to think about it this way I try to explain standards to people with a different set of words think of it as everybody in life gets their lusts they don't get their shoulds but think about it you must be above a list of shoulds nope they don't have a list of the shoulds things you should do you should follow through on I I should lose some weight I should work out more I should make more calls I should respond more rapidly to my email whatever you know I should get into the office earlier I should be you know more confident whatever your should list is people love to have their should list make me met but it's kind of like New Year's resolutions if it does it's really exciting but if it doesn't which is most the time it's a little disappointing but you kind of know it's not gonna happen but when you decide something as a must for you an absolute must when you come up any possible you say I'm gonna find the way I'm gonna make the way human beings when they resolve things and they have make a real resolution inside themselves which is they raise the standard they make it a must they find the way think about in your own life happens you had some area of your life where you raise your standard and your life has never been the same maybe at one time your life you use smoked cigarettes or you did something and you did it for years and you kept trying to change it trying to change it and kept telling yourself I should and then one day something happened something just clicked you over something took you over that kind of tipping point and inside yourself you said no more that was a very very different experience wasn't it something inside of you shifted and what was a should became a must and you've never gone back is there an area like that in your life you can think of again you ever smoked cigarettes did you ever eat a certain way drink a certain form of alcohol and then finally saying no more and you just don't go back and notice this it doesn't really take any willpower anymore because somewhere when we make this click we make something a must we attach ourselves to it it becomes part of our identity the one thing I've learned in the last gosh 33 years of working on people from now over 100 countries 4 million people is human beings absolutely follow through on who they believe they are and you say said to me well I'm really gonna work hard to stop smoking but you know I've been a smoker my whole life and I'm you know I am a smoker I know your days are numbered you're gonna be back smoking cigarettes again because we all act consistent with who we believe we are I tell people the strongest force in the whole human personality is this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves if you define yourself as somebody who is really conservative you're not gonna be crazy and act nuts unless you're really drunk or something and then you can say it's the alcohol when it really does you finally getting permission to be yourself the alcohols your excuse if you're a really crazy person you act crazy outrageous playful you don't have conservative because that's not who you are very often people say well I can't do that I'm not that kind of person and I always say to people really when did you define yourself I mean really how many years ago did you come up with what you could and couldn't do in your life how many years ago most people if they really look at how to living their life today it's based on a set of standards a set of beliefs that they made choices about 10 20 30 or more years ago I'm very often we made decisions in our youth or very young about what to believe about what we were capable of about who we are as a person and that becomes the glass ceiling if you will that controls us there's a corny metaphor but it's true I remember one time I was with my family at the circus and there's a person there and they had this big giant elephant and you look at this elephant and they take this little rope put around the elephant's neck and they drive the stake into the ground and I mean you look at this you know that elephant could rip down the entire tent with almost no effort and yet the elephant doesn't struggle doesn't try why cuz the elephant's conditioned and they take that elephant conditioned the elephant when it's a baby elephant that's how they train them when it's a little baby elephant and it doesn't have the power yet they put a big rope around it and they drive this huge stake in the ground and your elephant fights and fights and fights and one day finally that often decides I'm not capable of pulling this out and once that becomes the definition of an identity of anyone an elephant in this case they don't even try anymore it's just who I am that's how it is that's just the way it is in my life I'd like to ask you to take a look at any place you've got a limitation ask yourself when did I decide to accept that limitation and you may not even see it as a limitation you might see that just that's who I am but so often in our lives we've adapted to be a certain way so that we don't fail or so that people will like us or respect us but it's not necessarily who we are joy comes when you're spontaneous it's really hard to be truly happy when you're not being yourself and most of us have no clue who we are and so a big part of my work if you've ever been to an event you know is to get people or do things spontaneously without thinking because that's when the real you shows up that's when the energy comes alive and when you do that when you start to connect your true nature suddenly there's energy available for you to set a higher standard for what you want in your life that's what this is really all about and when I talk about standards when I talk about you know shoulds versus muss think about your own life I know there have been areas in your life where some point in time you just shift it and you raise the standard in your life change because whatever people have their identity attached to they live we live who we leave we are that's just how it works it's just kind of like I give an example look at your physical body your physical body today is an absolute reflection of only one thing not your goals not your desires but your standards the identity you have for yourself if your standard is you're an athlete then there's a certain amount of strength a muscle tone and energy that's available in your body on a regular basis because that's who you are and so you do whatever is necessary to maintain that identity again the strongest force and the human personalities this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves because if you don't know who you are you would not act once you lock in on that identity your brain finds a way to keep you there if you say you know man I'm overweight I've always been overweight I'm big-boned and that's the story you've got and you're gonna always find a way to get back there that's you're settling point that's your identity that's where things lock in if you see somebody who's a really great shape you ask him do you work out you know the answer yes how often and they'll tell you three times four times five times a week whatever in a seven our last people who here works out at least five days a week and I'm stand-up and you look around that room and you know they work out five times a week as you can see their body you don't just get a result without some kind of action without some form of ritual ritual meaning actions you do consistently now do you think you knows people that are out there working out five days a week do they have more time than you do or I have for anybody else of course not is there a wife less busy of course not it's just a must for them they must work out that way and they've made that turn their life changed so if I'm not sitting you have to work out five days a week I'm just saying whatever you really want once don't get met consistently standards do whatever you identify this is Who I am and so it's not so much about changing your identity as this expanding it you know deciding that you know instead of your goals to lose 10 pounds which is not compelling what if your vision was to get back to my fighting weight you know this this this month this next 90 days I'm gonna transform my body I'm gonna take on a new challenge I'm gonna find some technique or strategy there's a million of them that can reframe myself where I want to feel younger stronger more vibrant than ever before here's my reasons because I want the energy to really make my life work because it's tough out there and I want to be stronger than I've ever been before I want to go for the mirror and if I'm naked not you know want to laugh I will look there and take a good look and go yeah no basics that if you start to shift it everything else will shift in your life as well some people by the way have to have more than enough money to do what they want when they want where they want with whomever they want contribute the way they want if that's there must they find a way I know that sounds overly simplistic but it's true now somebody once said you can take all the money in the world out of the hands of everybody out of all the wealthy people in the world who are really successful give it to other people it wouldn't take too long those people have it back in their hands it's not because they're manipulators cuz they have a standard some are manipular don't get me wrong but they got a standard of what they're gonna find a way to make happen I'm just simply saying to you take those three magic words and live them raise your standard if you really want to do it then I'll tell you the most important secret have you ever done this have you ever told yourself you're raising you're saying okay I'm gonna go make this happen I'm gonna go make this much money I'm gonna transform my kids I'm gonna create the ultimate relationship of my life I'm gonna transform my body whatever it is and then you don't have strong enough reasons and you don't lose use it you don't follow through it's because you didn't back up your standards with what makes those standards real and that's rituals rituals all of the power is whenever we do our Robbins results coaching and we did Robbins equals results we get results with people it's the same way if you listen to my ultimate edge program are back in the old days personal power or if you went to one of my seminars you know what I do is I take these huge challenges you got and we break them down into little bite-sized steps little things you do each day that after you do them you get so much momentum that it's easy to succeed you're not overwhelmed you have these victory day after day after day on little things if you'd went to ultimate edge I'm sure you learned about the hour of power or the 15 minutes to be able to be fulfilled or 30 minutes to thrive where you literally just can in your body and emotion with a couple little rituals so it doesn't matter what's going on in your world you feel that strength and it's not fake it's not some pump up it's coming from inside you and it works rituals define us see all the results in your life are coming from your rituals they start with a standard and then have rituals that followed up like for example if you are where you want to be physically you have very different rituals than if you're not where you want to be physically if you're overweight you and I both know you got a different ritual than if you're physically fit completely different you get up in the morning what's the first thing you do if you're fit your shoes are there you roll over then then how you feel you put on your shoes you lace and you start walking or whatever that ritual is if you're overweight you roll over and you have a very different ritual you might roll over several times to turn the alarm clock off you go in and get your mocha smoke or whatever you know special coffees stop by at Starbucks whatever the case may be you have your nice sugar muffin you know it's supposed to be really nice for you whatever you do it's a different ritual if you have a great passionate relationship you have very different rituals and how you come home than if you have a lousy relationship you come home and the first thing you do is you're tweeting somebody or you're emailing or flipping on the news or you don't even come home and what are the rituals whenever I study people that are successful while I look for is what's the standard they hold himself to and then what are all the little rituals that up because think about it success and failure are not giant events they don't just show up you don't just suddenly become successful or suddenly have this cataclysmic event that makes you fail may look that way but failure comes from all the little things it's failure to make the call its failure to check the books its failure to say I'm sorry it's failure to push yourself to do things physically that you don't want to do and all those little failures day after day come together until one day some cataclysmic event happens you blame that that event happened because you missed all the little stuff do you agree with me and success by the way is not some overnight event it's all these little things success is having a vision success is making it compelling success is really seeing and feeling and every day it was strong enough for reasons so Sassie is feeling the sense that i'm here to grow and I'm here to give something to the world more than just myself success is caring about other people success is calling and saying I love you in the middle of the day for no damn reason or sending a note that will change a relationship have a ritual of something funny playful or a surprise you do how many relationships are dead today because they have no surprise rituals anymore you need to have some rituals some cool things you do that nobody else does they give you a better life than anybody else has all the little stuff that's where success comes from and in business it comes from delivering more than anybody could imagine all those little things add up people go wow that's who I want to do business with it's true in any area of your life so if you look at somebody's really successful you think wow I mean they're so amazing they're such a genius you gotta dig underneath you got to member something people are rewarded in public from what they've practiced for years in private myself and my business people say how are you get up and speaking of nono-chan you go for three days and nights and the room is like he's wired it's incredible if like a rock concert how do you do that honey at that confidence of oh and you know it's not confidence it's experience now but I did so much behind the scenes that I still do to make things right I mean how many people would know that since the time I was 17 years old before I walk on the stage still do to this day wouldn't need to do it but I still do it I never walk out there without being in an absolute peak state of mine you know there days my back is hurting my throat was hurting or I may have a challenger my father passed away and I've still got a deliver for these people because my standard is give my all every time everything has to be better talk to anybody who's been to our events for 5-10 years some of our trainers it was a I don't know he does it he's always finds a way to make it better that's not an ego thing that's a standard in me I have to find the way and my ritual though is I prepare I think I gather new information I figure out how to put something across better what do people need I spend time with our customers I see what's going on and before I get on stage each time as a sort of ritual to put myself in a state of mine and I did it starting for like 17 years old I started doing it saying now command my subconscious mind and I say this out loud several times this little phrase set of phrases as an incantation to kind of condition my mind and body and that's an now command my subconscious mind to direct me and helping as many people as possible today by giving me the strength and the emotion and the humor and the brevity whatever it takes to show this person and help this person change their life now and I started that with a person when I work with people one on one I will do that for 45 minutes driving in my Volkswagen to go serve and coach somebody for the first time now I don't say that person I say these people and I can go out in the room of 10,000 people and deliver for 50 hours and I do it every time I come back onstage it's a ritual a ritual to go into Peaks they Peaks they don't just show up it'll interrupt you great ideas during the rough you got to pursue them I talked to Michael Jordan I'll never forget dad the peak of his career and got to watch his final games saw him backstage and spent some time with him and there's pretty exciting time this famous basketball player I think that ever lived and has ever lived and I asked him I say you know what sets you apart Michael you know what is it and there's a god-given talent ability skill what is it needs to tell me you know he said I can shoot you straight you know it's not you know me trying to act humble he goes I have a lot of talent god-given tell a lot of skill I've worked really hard but he said really it's my standards he said every day I demand more for myself than anybody else could humanly expect I'm not competing with somebody else I'm competing with what I'm capable of hmm magic formula because most of us lower our standards why because who you spend time with my friends is who you become one of the biggest reasons I started going to seminars when I was like 17 is I had nobody around me is a great role model I can read about somebody but being around people being in that environment was very different finding a way to go to work with someone who lived that standard of life was very different you get around people at low standards and you compete with it you don't need to compete with it it's like okay I mean remember Jerry Springer I don't he's still in the air but you know I've never used to get people on the show I thought where would he find these people and why would people watch off any what they watch they watch these people go my life so pretty darn good compare that person look at them you don't have to change your life all you have to do is find somebody with a lower standard you'll feel good about yourself but if you feel that good feeling it's an illusion the only thing that's gonna make you happy with milliseconds hundredth of a second he pushed himself just beyond its competitor but you know about Michael Phelps would allow them be able push beyond that moment is this rituals go study the guy most people who swim have these unbelievable workouts he does two and three of their workout sessions a day all the other swimmers in the beginning thought he was insane he could over train you can't do that it's not physically possible but he had a standard and the rituals to back it up so here's my final message to you because I've gotten carried away if I was gonna send you like a five-minute message but you can see there's no script here it's just me going a little crazy with you but I want to really see you get what you want this year don't let this year be like last and if last year was great still don't let it be that way raise the standard your life is perfect and extraordinary you darn well know you're not gonna be happy unless you keep making it better that's what makes us feel alive it's not what we get to make us happy it's who we become and what we're able to give because we've become more that sense of contribution is what creates the deepest meaning so here's my assignment for if you want one if you want to go from conversation to some action your simple thing to do what's an area your life right now that you really want improve what's an area that's important to improve it's your body's great how about your current career is great about your relationship intimate one especially or your kids or your relationship with your Creator your spiritual side of your life or is it your finances figure an area that really matters decide on that area number one write down what your life is like in that area right now specifically as possible so you might say well I'm 13.5 pounds overweight you know whatever the weight is whatever the situation is or my body fat like this or I'm wake up exhausted in the morning and you write the truth of where you are right now so you're real clear or I'm not in a relationship I say I want a relationship but I I'm not in one I don't seem to find them all the good ones seem to be gone is my belief you know and I really do want one but I don't have it whatever your definition well I'm in a relationship and god I wish I wasn't in a relationship I'm planning my escape wherever you are or I have a wonderful relationship we'd love each other but there just isn't enough passion just right the truth of where you are the area you want to change but right how it is and then the second step is that's where you got to be really honest with yourself what are the rituals that have put me there because whatever results you're getting even if you don't like the results there are some rituals that are keeping you in that place there's some rituals of what you eat or don't eat how you move or don't move how you sleep with don't sleep there's some rituals and back a variety or spice or energy or focus in an area there's something you're doing and it's usually not one thing it's a bunch of little things they kind of do consistently whatever you think about getting in a relationship whatever you think about working out whenever you think about money and get yourself in a state of overwhelm you start thinking about all the things you can't control just write down all the rituals you have and then here's the third step what do you want what's your vision and be really specific I want to be even my fighting way I want to be the strongest I've ever felt I want to be I'm gonna turn my whatever it is be specific and then last step number four what are the rituals that will get you there what would you need it differently each morning if you're going to be that kind of energy that kind of strength how would you have to often would you work out what days would you work out what time a ritual is something you do consistently usually at a specific time so becomes automatic

None of this is simple, the hardest thing you can do is be a megalomaniac. I have to review and feel it every day, now that's confidence in my books. This stuff is hard and that's why there's a series of long lectures, it gets complicated when there's other things I can hardly remember but must remember.

my personal favorite : success and failure are not big events they are compounded by small actions that looks like doesn't matter

Thanks very helpful! I think i got to a place in myself to little by little to be who i am really are. All i want is my kids to be happy and keep peace in my life. I am just being now who i am. Without no one controlling me. I enjoying my time my routine! What ever life gives me i am thankful! I sing to give happinesa to me and others. It lifts my spirit music! Learning to value me! I do have a vision and want to help others to be happy! I love connecting with others thru music! I command to help myself to stay focus! This next will be better!

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