Selfishness in Relationships | Why Most Relationships Fail | Part 2
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36


We are all selfish and even when we do good
it is with selfishness. We think we are helping the other but the selfishness doesn’t go one
husband and wife fought at night is that a very uncommon occurrence I don’t think so
I’m only guessing I do believe it’s a corporate a common occurrence right so this particular
husband and wife also fought the fight became serious, so serious that they stopped talking
to each other the husband took a radical step he said I will not sleep at home tonight he
went to sleep in the car in the driveway a little after midnight the wife had a change
of mood she suddenly realized how much he loves her husband and she thought she will
make up with her husband she took her husband’s favorite soda now she went out the husband
was sleeping she opened the door and she put it in there thinking that when he wakes up
and he finds this is what my wife has done for me he will also realize how much he loves
her and after that they will live happily ever after now if it was a fairy tale they
would have lived happily ever after but this was a real life it was not a fairy tale when
the husband woke up and he found the soda bottle his anger hadnot yet subsided rather
than drinking the soda he opened the door of the car and poured it in the driveway and
then he took the bottle and smashed it and broke it that is what really annoyed the wife
the wife came to Swamiji complaining how could my husband do this to me I did such wonders
for him I took the soda for him for his sake I put it out there and he did not a reciprocating
saw Swami he said what did you expect your husband to do to make you happy the moment
she heard that suddenly a light went on she realized she was not doing selfless service
as she had thought she was having expectations from her husband that is not being selfless
that is being selfish this selfishness refuses to go from within us somebody said I am leaving
this satsang why are you leaving the satsang I served the satsang so selflessly but nobody
realized the sacrifices that I had made and gave me importance for it I said look if you
had made selfless sacrifices why did you feel the need for getting importance you are thinking
of making selfless sacrifices but there is the selfishness everybody should do Jake are
you are a great devotee our human nature that selfishness is causing all the strain in the
relationships mind you!

What we expect others to do for us often dictates how we are in relationship with others. Being tolerant and understanding without expecting anything from another will take the strain out of relationship. Hearing this makes sense. However, it will take practice to not behave selfishly.

What a wonderful lecture Gurudev. Chanting the divine names of the Lord alone can take us from selfishness to selflessness. Radhey Radhey Govinda Radhey

In this truly thought-provoking narration, Swamiji helps us understand the difference between selfish and selfless love. What is most critical top consider is that even in devotional activities, most people think their seva is selfless but that may not be the case. Thank you, Swamiji!

Even if you do something to help others, there should not be any selfish motive of getting that favor back someday when we need help. If that is the intention of return of favor, that help becomes selfish and whole perspective of servitude vanishes.

Swamiji beautifully says that even in devotional activities, most people think their seva is selfless but that may not be the case. Thank you, Swamiji!

The worldly relationships always come with a tinge of selfishness that self-interest is always there in any relationship. Very well made points supported with examples of common relationship issues in day to day life due to selfishness. Thanks, Swamiji for relating this, understanding the problem is the first step to the solution as always.

So true. This video makes us analyze 'our intention' when we try to help. Am I helping because I expect something in return or am I helping without any expectation.
A beautiful lecture with real life examples.

In the second video of the series on "Why Relationships Fail?" #SwamiMukundananda explains that expectations are a consequence of selfishness. This is why sacrifice is key to maintaining successful relationships.

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