Mindset & Mental Toughness - How to stop limiting beliefs
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hi everybody ELISA tom buddy here from pushing the limits and welcome once again it's fantastic to have you and today I've got my wingman again your Wagstaffe with me and my little cat here Billy today we're going to be talking about what other current factors limiting you your growth and your success so Neil tell us a little bit about what the subject is and how we're going to approach this today so here you know I've been obviously is you know chatting a lot lately these are on you know goal setting and around goal setting around visualization and then how important it is but one of the things that we came out of our discussions we felt was really worth talking about is we don't often look at the things that are limiting us we look at the positive things the things we want to do the goals that we want to put in place we don't look at the things that's slowing us down so what what we're going to encourage you guys and gals to do today and share a bit of our own stories as well is have really take the time to sit down and have a look at your own story have a little journaling your own story do as Lisa and I did and share your story with each other never look at what cards you were dealt ever look at Dom you might be bullied as a child you might be really to work do you feel insecure about something you could be in a position that you you've had such a great upbringing you've had a good upbringing with loads of money loads of comforts loads of everything you need and for that reason anytime you find yourself in a situation where you've got a struggle you just don't know how to cope with it and you don't know what so you don't know what to do so once you work out what those limiting things are often these things become reasons that we don't go on and reach our full potential and as you all know we're about getting the most out of ourselves mentally physically and getting the most out of our bodies and really reaching our full potential now these things are stuff that's there stopping you doing what you want to do every day then we've got a work out how to first identify what they are and then work out strategy to overcome them yeah so mystic and you know what statistics a lot but that most people are operating at about 40% of the amande potential and I would say that that's probably about right you know we might feel like we stretch to where we're overstressed and things but as far as what we could be actually doing in their lives we're not really going for broke and really achieving what we never what we you know what we really want so if we want to lift that 40% and we want to overcome a whole lot of things and we want to actually live our lives that has meaning that has impact in the world that is a positive so that when I get to my end of my days hopefully way in the future I can look back and go wow you know I did I made a massive impact in the world I did the things that I wanted to do I didn't live half PI and I think this this is about going all-in this is about becoming this person who is committed to whatever they're set out to do and we're gonna talk today a little bit about getting outside your comfort zones and pushing the limits and finding out what you're made of now one of the reasons why in the past you know I've done lots of ultra marathons obviously and one of the beautiful things about when you do really big scary humongous challenges and these could be anything in life we'll take the example of the ultra marathons you find out just who the hell you are because it's not always pleasant that can be horrific it can be torture it can be really really hard but there are massive learnings that go on when you're pushed outside your comfort zone and you discover who you are as a character and how much you can fight and how much you can overcome I remember 100k run with you Neil what did that teach you we did 100k together at the Nationals and we both had our demons on that day that we had to fight through me with an injury and then you later on you know this was your first hundred tell us what their experience taught you I went to places that I didn't know I was able to and allowed me to work out first ideas of dig really deep I could have taken the easy option and this starts the when I when I went into it with you anything we knew that anytime any K passed the marathon was further than I'd ever run and you'd said to me from the start if you get past a marathon that's fine stop whenever you want I could have done that I had an easier all the way around decided not to you had to dig deep to do it but what that's taught me since is in my family life business life every other aspects of my life I now know that there's part of me that I didn't know I could access yeah the part a part that when the going gets tough I've know I can understand both from a mental and psychological physiological point of view that I've got more to give because I gave more on that day that event has taught me a huge amount and I can now push that a little bit harder so that now applies to me in business it applies to me and family I used a lot of things that could have been as a negative the stuff for do you know when I was growing up family things that they motivate me through them took me through I remember my my old man telling me when I was probably about 1213 years old there he sat down with me showed me a picture of a lot of guys in the military now I was never ever going to go into the military and he was he was adamant that I should guys the military and he showed me a picture of some Scots Guards he was in the Scots Guards and said look son you could this could be you in a minute I don't want that to be me at that point it upset me quite a lot and given time overcame it with the people and support from a family and friends around me but during that run I was now becoming a new person become a new person so I've taken that what could have been a negative thing turned it round it could have been a limiting factor but for me that now drives me hard because I want to become my own person I want to be that person I definitely they want to be the guy in the military but I Know Who I am now and who I want to be yeah what your dad wanted and they a whole lot of conflict and you had you know to deal with and he wasn't the greatest and and we all have back stories each and every one of us his head should happen to us in life and this is where the power of understanding your story and this is where journaling comes in writing it down also sharing it you know with a friends or a trusted person that you can tell everything to because when you do that you get outside of yourself and you actually get to look at what's gone on and then it takes away the power that those experiences often have over you when they're not Express when they're hidden when they're kept in the dark places and when we actually dig into them and we actually look at them face on and we go you know the that happened in my early childhood years there was you know horrible things that happen and we know it definitely influenced who I was as a young adult and who I you know who I became and when I look back over there I can start now as an adult who's mature er who's like able to look at things and look square in the face and the power has gone from those memories I can understand intellectually what would happen if we don't express them we stay as that little kid or their young person in that situation with the emotions attached as they are then and we can't grow out of them and this is when we by journaling things and actually looking at the limiting factors that we've built into our psyche you know imagine how much that have made you how much that could stop you doing though in life that's really want to just make sure that everyone listening is getting as those things with the example you use their Lisa when you were growing up I've chuckled at the amount of times you've used as your motivation that I'm going to do this because so-and-so said I shouldn't or so-and-so said I can't and I'm going to I'm going to show them how it's how it's done so you've taken it flipped it into into a positive but there's so many things so many people that I often speed to and on a daily basis that are just sitting there with untapped potential because there's something that is limiting them that really doesn't need to anymore yes been a farm what those things aren't it can be as years you said it can be an emotional process going through it is worth taking the time to find out what they are because what you're once you identify them they often not as big as you thought they were yes you say you journal them you get them down on paper share them with friends and all of a sudden you've got solutions and the doors just go wide open and you see a whole world that you definitely wouldn't have seen before yeah I mean I've used this example before but mum when she was a little girl at school got up on stage into a school speech as we all had to do more cuts and she froze onstage and it was a horrendously embarrassing for her as a eight or nine year old whatever she was and then from there on and she never ever spoke again in a public forum she was a teacher she could teach you know children because it was different but in a public forum should never get up and speak it was a limiting belief because she would have been a fantastic speaker you know with their stories and the knowledge that she had but she'd held herself back she'd always kept herself out of the limelight etc when she had her aneurysm which everybody knows that story all those past memories were the power of them we've gone and that limiting belief was no longer there and now she'll get up on stage she was up on stage with me if it's a couple of weeks ago in front of 500 doctors or so you know talking at a conference telling them her story and she loved it you know and that is like that when you take the power of that memory from that eight-year-old is now gone because that part of her is gone literally that power is gone and now she can do whatever she likes and that in that field in that arena because she understands you know well she actually doesn't have those emotions anymore and in regards to that event and there's still be negative drivers you know these could be things you know like wanting to prove somebody wrong because someone told you that you couldn't do it I mean that's definitely been a driving force in my entire life and you can see that as being a negative I wanting to prove something yeah but jeez it makes you feel powerful it makes you see now the example that you've got a fair few things ticked off as a result of improving by what other people said you should be very much so and it's been you know like we just have to overcome these things and to you know so both by understanding them looking at them and going okay that's not who I am anymore and I'm deciding I'm taking on a new identity I'm taking on new challenges and then going through that process in yes in these challenges that you're gonna go through they're gonna be some deep dark times it's not gonna be easy but this world isn't about being easy no there's a great book that you're reading at the moment a and it talks about this sort of stuff tell us a little bit about this yeah that's and obviously those listening from the running world will if you hadn't read it you showed this it's up on a pile of your books Lee said but David and David Goggins so he's got he's got a few books out and and the one the one I'm reading the moment has got some great lessons in mental toughness in it and some great great stories and he brings life very well with the nine personal stories he's he digs deep again he's on a par with you without the the deep he's willing to go to get stuff and get stuff then get stuff done yeah but it's it's again looking a looking for inspiration those around you and that can come from friends it can come from family it can come from people you may not have met like in my case it's you know listen to what David Goggin has done how he's done it and what he's achieving great great lessons well and if we can leave everyone to think about Lisa's have a look at something you want to currently be doing it might be changing job it might be starting your own business it could be entering an event could be anything a run that could be doing an ultramarathon it could be going to ask someone else you've been looking at for a little while I'm thinking I love to take them out for day any number of things and they'll be limiting factors they're stopping you doing it take your time to write down what those are even if you've already started the process of entering an event ask yourself am I am I really maximizing my full potential or am I going at this to your example am i going into this at forty percent of my potential because if there's more there and you can go into it sixty seventy eighty eighty percent you're double what you've already got and that then all of a sudden that is you know that's exciting that's a life-changing experience so write down and find out what you you want to be doing that comes back to the goal setting a lot of knew that when listening will have goals in place and then when you look at the goals ask yourself are you going into unleashing your full potential are you doing it at your at the highest potential you possibly could tell your story tell your story to someone else right you're right your story down journal it and look at what the limiting factors are once you've got limiting factors look at strategies to overcome them and use them to fuel you because they will will fuel yours you said Lisa doesn't need to be a negative thing it can be positive and it should be positive because this is about who you are and about becoming the next better version of you obviously being a bit of version of yourself so one of those points t-boy up you know the word goal-setting the better word to use and listen nothing wrong with goal-setting and having goals but when when something is really serious you really want to get there then you have to make it Susan a final decision that this is the way you're going and and and it leaves no room for doubts that leaves no room for the a bad outcome it almost has to be like you're going in there like this is going to happen come hell or high water I'm going through this and I'm going to make us and when you have that that level of commitment and recommitting and going all out into something and making a decision and I did adopting that identity that's required to get there then you really really can achieve absolutely amazing things regardless of the obstacles because the obviously wasn't gonna happen anyway the is going to come at you but if you've got that mental power of saying this is going to happen I don't you know with with mum and her case I and you know who books not far away now from coming out or every two to three months hopefully touchwood and I had to win it because I was going up against massive odds nobody had ever done this nobody ever retrained the brain at this late age and adulthood was said to be impossible etc etc and the medical professionals and so on I hate to go in with a surgeon this is going to be the most epic comeback story you've ever heard and this is this is gonna be amazing and she's coming back and I don't care what you tell me now I could have still failed I still could have done all of that but I had to be in a state of this is happening this is going to happen with absolute uncertainty in my heart and my head because otherwise it wouldn't have been able to galvanize the resources when when when someone takes away your hope and this is one of the issues that I had with the doctors and in this case and says to you there is no hope there is no chance this will not happen that will not happen what do you think happens to people's action steps that they then take they are weak because they have been taken away of their hope and I know they can't give false hope but not to take away all hope because every single person is different in every situation is different and if you take away people's hope then you no longer can take mess of action towards the positive side of it does it make sense makes perfect sense and I think the what you've done so well in this process and from talking to you almost all the way through the process as well since since mom had the only reason when where she's at now is you've always had an answer so what I mean by that is you've identified what are the unlikely obstacles likely to be sometimes you're not gonna know when they're throwing at you but you've you've had the answer you've known how to overcome it some days that's been a lot tougher than others and you've had to go and find the answer but you've been willing to do that and that's the whole point of this process is when you write it down and you work out right and you've done this very logically over the the conversations we've heard it's like right here's what the situation is here are the limiting factors it's put down on paper can I answer this yes this is how good an answer it can answer this yes this is I'm going to answer it can answer this and you've continuously and continuously done there and that is on a huge scale if we bring that down a few levels and look at it from a from running an ultramarathon as an example if you can know what is likely to stop you and the Demers are going to come and tell you you can't go any further then you've already got the answer because you know what you're going to tell your minds to keep moving forward then you already prepared yourself and your ability to do that that's why your mama being able to do what you do because you have already prepared yourself yeah your your ultra riding career and the struggles you've had in your life I think of set you up massively well for this but what you've what you've been through mum and what you're going through a mom and yeah stranger things happen in life but you've been given the skillset to deal with this and to get mum to where she is now give it the quality of life that she is she's got but all the time you you you've always overcome your living the limiting beliefs always worked out what's stopping you stopping you growing and overcome it and then allowed yourself a mum to grow with it and I think that the point we want to get across today exactly and not to think that there wasn't the sphere and there wasn't desperation and there wasn't doubts and there wasn't things but these are thoughts that come and then I let them go again and I stand back up and I get up again and it's about recommitting every single day to the process so you know today we're at Jim and mum was really poor today like her performance was poor today so I'm trying to work out and eliminate what was going on last night what happened this morning why is she doing this and then recommitting and then saying to her you know we did this fabulously we made this positive thing because she's feeling down because she can't do this do the same amount of level of exercise that she was doing the day before and understanding that this is the nature of the beast and it is the nature of humans actually that we just can't reform at the drop of a hat all the time and recommending to the process we're doing it anyway we're going to the gym anyway I don't care if you're not walking very well today we're going and we'll work around it and I did a little bit less on the treadmill and a little bit more on the bike and a little bit different things that you could cope with today but it's recommitting on a single everyday basis because every single day you have to recommit to that long-term goal which is a hundred and ten percent that is the long-term goal and then you know I keep having that she's at an age now at 77 so you're fighting aging as well and you know people keep saying to me even my brother's wasn't it enough now isn't that enough she's back she's okay she can walk she can do it shouldn't you back off and all the way through I've had to deal with that coming at me all the time and no for me if she's not a hundred percent yet we're still not walking how I wanted to be walking she's still not bending as much as I wanted to be able to you know like getting her shoes on us still a hell much and things like that and until we get those I'm not backing off and I probably won't back off me neither but it's it's having that commitment to overcome those people that tell you every single day isn't it enough aren't you working hard enough aren't you doing this isn't that isn't half a marathon long enough why do you have to go and do a marathon you know all of those sort of negative things that people say to you because they are limiting you because they have a limiting beliefs about what you're capable of or what you should I just think I was coaching a lady last week and her daughter went to school and proudly said mum's going to run a 200 mile race in a few weeks and the top the teeth said you are lying no human on earth can run 200 miles and the little girl went back like my teacher says you're lying mummy mum said no your teachers got no freaking idea of the reality yeah human beings do and can run 200 miles and I am going to be doing a 200 mile race along with quite a few other humans but that teacher had called her limiting beliefs on do you know and told her that that's fortune her mum's not doing it and it's all lies and we'll go and prove that teacher wrong I like it I like it I like it bones yeah understanding that process this is what it's what it's all about and I think taking the time to take yourself through that process and it's what's worked well for us over the years is pulling apart the layers pulling layers off from working out what is really going on underneath because once you get to that bit the you know the physical side the physiology is important but it's you know as we've said before we've seen and work with many athletes through through running hot and they're you know they've got ability but it might not be as good as the ability of someone next to them but what they've done is they've answered all these questions they know what's going to keep them going when the going gets tough they've they've worked out up here he's taking them that extra step further and further and further because they've been through this process understanding that is understanding that it's key and it's um yeah they're gold examples you've got there yeah pretty good all right everyone I think we've covered that topic pretty well today if you've got any comments if you want to reach out to us we'd love to hear from you you can reach out on email lisa at running pop coaching calm or neil at running hot coaching calm you can also find us on instagram i'm at lisa Tamati and on facebook of course and we'd love you to check out our all our programs we have a mindset ketamine we have our running programs are online run training we have epigenetic testing programs which is really all about personalized health we have a whole lot of stuff going on so if you're ready to take your performance to the next level whether it's with your mindset whether it's with your running whether it's with weight loss whether it's with nutrition whatever your goal is him please reach out to us we'd love to help you get there any final words for today New York no I think you've summed it up nicely Lisa thank you very much we'll see you again next week see you guys

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