Limiting beliefs "Im not worthy"
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so welcome guys Christmas decisive coaching with a little quick video about an experience that I had today one of many different experiences when it comes to this subject of limiting beliefs but this one this particular one stood out to me it was a young guy that was working with don't need to give any names away of course I wouldn't do that but I think it's interesting because some stage for our life we all we're all inheriting these limiting beliefs and for sure they do they can be pretty disastrous if we don't at least recognize them and and maybe at least get some understanding around them so of course this is part of what it is that I do when I'm coaching somebody with somebody's in here for whatever reason whether they come to try maybe and be a bit a little bit healthier or aren't more more more successful in life whether it be relationships or work or business or whatever and and of course when I am listening to a client when some is talking I kind of pick up all of the little bits in between there pretty much everyday language to them and it's how they behave how they present themselves on an everyday basis so something that jumped out to me while I was talking to this young guy today was ah a limiting belief and I love to hear these limiting beliefs for sure because I know how devastating they can be they can be an unbelievable limiter in our life going forwards but of course it's part of us we kind of say it regularly we don't really consciously notice it because it's our part of our everyday operating system if you like so this let me just explain what I mean by limiting belief so a limiting belief is something that we tell about ourselves over and over again unconsciously and it limits our potential in some way so what is it that I've picked up on well we was having a conversation about about him recognize it help him with his self-esteem his self-worth recognize in some of his positive traits and lots of positive traits he's quite an unusual guy and he's extraordinarily intellectually intelligent and that really stands out to me been working with him now for a for a little while and something that I that I noticed more so today was in our conversation when he was saying about what he's good at where he's learnt to be able to do so much better he was he started saying oh sorry I don't mean that I'm you know I don't I don't want you to think that I am big-headed or arrogant uh so we finished our conversation and then I rewound and I said to him what is it that you mean when you said when he was trying to justify it to me that you're not being arrogant and you're not being it big-headed well he continued to say well I don't want you thinking that of me Chris cuz that's not what I mean well I'm okay with that I'm fine with that I know that you're not trying to be big-headed but can we focus on this just for a little bit and of course quite often we're so wrapped up in our own little model of the world we tend not to see it until somebody outside of us points it out and questions it and it can be quite powerful maybe you can use this as we're talking it might trigger off some parts of you maybe that you most certainly probably will have some limiting beliefs now so he says sorry I don't mean that I'm not trying to be like blah blah blah blah and of course that is limiting him isn't it he's he's more concerned about how I'm perceiving him now what's really going on because if we dig underneath under the surface of this when he says I don't people thinking that I'm arrogant and big-headed so I ask him as this happened that people thought that you are arrogant and big-headed and he says well yeah in the past well in the past this has happened and how did it make you feel well it made me feel like I don't want people thinking that I'm better than them okay right so let's move on shall we so what's the limiting belief around him not wanting to be arrogant and big-headed because he is very very smart he processes information quicker than the a lot of people that I've ever met especially for his age very young 23 24 or something and he is like lightning speed processor and he absorbs information and he is quite incredible and of course I can translate this and I helped in translate it is it's a very common limiting belief is that I'm not worthy I'm I'm not enough I'm not worthy enough to be intelligent being intellectually intelligent so what we need to do is really question these these limiting beliefs that we have and we all have different ones by the way or because of the decisions that we've made in times where we've been made to feel kind of rejected or the fear of rejection being made to feel that we know enough we're not good enough we're not bright enough we know anything enough so I asked him what's an alternative belief because we broke it down and we got in Susan to kind of understand intuitively and intellectually we heed now understand at this point that it's it's a theory he's not worthy he's not worthy enough so he's either protecting himself or he's trying to protect me as any other combination so what's an alternative belief and he says well other I am worthy I said we'll say that to yourself and how does that feel and he says it feels uncomfortable saying that okay so said what's the intent of the old belief so the old belief is I'm not worthy I'm not enough and of course what's the intent of that intent behind all these limiting beliefs one way or another is it's part of us that's developed over the years isn't it ultimately it is to protect our true authentic self because we don't really like to feel like we're bragging on where we're being arrogant and we're being you know kind of I had like our shits don't don't sting kind of thing and that's what we kind of worried about that other people are big they're going to be thinking so it's always to protects us but it can be to protect other people can be to protect ourselves or a combination of of the – so what's the warning of the consequences because this quite often can be this is the part that can quite often set us free if we really kind of work through this so if you have a limiting belief ask yourself try and narrow down by that process is what's that what's that limiting belief what's it trying to protect you from and quite often it will be protecting us from rejection when they have a failure and all of these other crazy fears that we have so we need to look at the consequences because his particular limiting belief is that he feels he he needs to justify and explain to these other people now that kind of tells me that he's trying to protect them from feeling inferior know enough okay the consequences of that is that if you play yourself down and you lower your own standards in front of your peer group those people that you you don't want them to feel that you're maybe being arrogant of course what the con one of the consequences of that will be is that you're you're doing them a disservice you're doing them an injustice really is that we need to be our best we need to project our qualities our strengths we need to always strive to be better because that person then can maybe learn from you they can they can pick something up more value from you just the fact that it is possible to be confident it is possible to be intelligent and be okay with that because I asked him another question and I said right what's the chances of you going through life and there being absolutely no people ever it's all going forwards into the future what's the chances of there's going to be that no one's ever going to feel that you're think and feel you're arrogant and that you and that you think you're better than everyone else what's the chances of those people always being there or the chances are high in fact it's guaranteed you're absolutely guaranteed you can be the you can be the nicest character in the world you can be the nicest person and you kind of feel you know that you kind of suppress yourself and you're very modest and you can be you can have all of the strengths of carrots you can have all of these qualities and all of these abilities but the chances are that there's always going to be people that are gonna want to bash you down and say that you're arrogant and and your big edit so that's always going to happen so that is going to be something that we need to condition ourself we need to adjust our perception of that we need to create perhaps a new a new belief and the belief is that there's always going to be people there you're never going to be able to please everyone but we don't want to focus too much on that we want to focus on the consequences how it's going to limit us ourselves is that we're always going to lower around standards we're always going to lower our own level of self worth and self value that's going to prevent us from moving forwards and an upping our game and always striving to be better and learn more we're going to restrict ourselves from surrounding ourselves with people that are more intelligent and brighter and better what is that we want to be good at what we want to strive for so we if we're limiting ourselves and staying safe around people that we don't want to over do we don't want to make them feel left behind we don't want them to feel bad then we're not doing what it is that we think we're doing we're kind of over protecting them and that's not what we want to do is that we want to try and be our best for them if they have a negative opinion your opinion on you that's none of your business and there's no to control that you have over that but what we do have is we have control over what it is that we want to do and we have to be a good example so we have to be an example no warning we have to be an example for people to follow and accept there's always gonna be those people that are gonna want to put you down and bash you down okay so I hope that helps we're for understanding limiting beliefs you might want to question yourself have you got any limiting beliefs do you have a belief about yourself or the world around us around you that that kind of triggers off that fear inside that prevents you're kind of going forwards and climbing that ladder of success personal development and self achievement okay hope that helps guys any questions please do get in touch bye

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