Joy: Cultivating Happiness | Back to Basics
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Hi everyone. Welcome back to Lavendaire. Today is another episode in our Back to Basics series, and today we’re
talking about joy. Joy is a key part of a good life. Everyone always talks about wanting to find
happiness and joy in our lives because honestly, I think a huge part of life
is having fun, enjoying this experience of living in this human body on this earth, living the
lifestyle that you live. Whatever it is, there’s joy to be found everywhere and there’s
beauty in the way life is. Today I actually want to share an exercise
that I did over a year ago that revolved around joy and then I want to share what I discovered
from that exercise. And you can totally do that exercise as well. This was just the exercise–really easy. It’s one journal prompt. List all your recent moments of pure joy. Think back. It doesn’t have to be so recent. It could be within the past year, or two years,
or in your entire lifetime. But look back and remember all the moments
where you felt pure joy. You know what I mean. Pure joy is when you’re laughing until your
stomach hurt or when you’re riding on a roller coaster,
for those who like roller coasters, and you’re having a ball. You feel like you’re flying. And pure joy, to me, is when your mind is not clouded by anything
else. There’s zero worries, zero stress, zero thoughts, actually. You’re just living in the moment. You’re enjoying the moment 100%. To me, that’s what pure joy is. It’s when you’re fully present and fully alive. What I did is: I looked back and I remembered
the moments of my pure joy. Laughing with my brother, going to the theme
park, eating amazing food, exercising, doing yoga, dancing, singing. All of these little moments where I felt pure
joy, where I felt 100% alive, and I wrote all of
these down. And after I wrote my whole, huge list down, what I did was: I started categorizing where
joy came from. For me, I found that joy came from these five
areas. They’re human connection– joy came from moments where I was laughing
with my friends or with my family, having a good time or having a really good
talk with someone. That’s where I felt pure joy, that human connection. Number 2: Joy came from when I was engaging
in my passions, so when I was singing, dancing, creating. Whatever it was that was something I was really
interested in, really curious about, I felt pure in that
too. Number 3 was when I fully engaged my five
senses. I’m not talking about engaging them all at once at the same time. If you think about taste, your sense of taste, eating really good food can make you feel
really joyful. Or listening to really good music can make you really happy. Or even touching a soft plushy pillow or petting
a dog, that is touch. That sense can make you feel really happy
as well. And what else is there? Smell. Smell. If you smell a really nice candle or any nice
essential oils, that can bring joy to your life too. Just engage in any of the five senses can
really bring joy. Number 4 was physical movement. I noticed that when I was running, doing yoga,
dancing, just moving my body, I felt more joy. That’s probably because of the endorphins. I mean, exercise is just good for your body. Our bodies are meant to move. And obviously, the more you move, the more
happy you’ll feel. It’s actually a scientific fact. And lastly is humor. I wasn’t sure if this could fit into any other
categories so I just made it its own. To me, comedy, humor, jokes, having fun, laughing,
that brings joy naturally. I don’t know about you but humor and laughing
is contagious. When someone is laughing and having a good time, it’s like you want
to laugh with them as well. Humor, it can bring joy. I feel like that’s a very human thing, just
when something’s funny. I feel like when you live life in a very light-hearted
way, you can find funny things everywhere. Everything is fun. Everything can make you laugh. That’s what beautiful. Also, the last thing I want to say is: joy
is contagious. If someone is experiencing joy through any of these forms, whether it’s from
passions, human connection, engaging the senses, whatever, it is naturally
contagious and it will spread joy to everyone around them. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen anyone who’s
eating a really good meal and they’re really enjoying it, like really
enjoying it. It makes you feel good and be happy too. If you’re watching someone dance their heart
out onstage or sing their heart out, it gives me the feel. I don’t know about you, but there’s that contagiousness
of joy where you feel their passion. I don’t know, when someone’s laughing or you
see a happy baby, it’s just so contagious. Joy is contagious and the more joyful you
are, the more joy you’re going to bring to everyone
around you. I want to end it on this: focus on the joy
that you have in your life in the everyday little moments, little pockets of joy here and there. The more you focus and be aware of the joy that you have in your life, the more you realize,
“Oh my god, there’s so much joy, so much beauty around,” and your life will
be enhanced because joy, like I said, is a huge part of life. Everyone’s searching for happiness. Everyone just wants to be happy. Happiness is not something that you find. It’s something you create. It’s something that’s actually here right
in front of you. You just have to see it. You just have to feel it for yourself. So start seeing the joy that’s in your life in all these little corners in your life. And remember the five areas where it can come
from: human connection, passion, engaging the senses,
physical movement, and humor. And like I said, you can also do that exercise
on your own, listing out all your previous moments of pure joy and
you can find out where joy comes from in your life. And once you realize where joy comes from
in your life, then you can actively recreate that joy. You can do that same thing again. It’s that easy. It’s that simple. Joy is cheap. So that’s it for today. I hope that this lifted your spirits a little
bit, especially if you’re going through a down time. Just know that joy is right around the corner
and it’s attainable for everyone. Alright, thank you so much. I’ll see you next time. Make sure you watch the other videos in our Back to Basics series right here. And have a beautiful day. Bye!

Aileen! You should read "Happy at Last" by Richard O'Connor. It's mainly for recovering from depression, but it has some amazing tips and techniques I think you'd really dig!

I totally second what you said about humor! I have the worst PMS and during that time I like to watch stand up comedy, cause it really helps with my moodiness and takes my mind off the cramps.

Great points… I keep a list of little things I love to do (e.g. walking barefoot in the grass, making a snowball…) & when need a kick, I pick one item from that list and I do it. It solves many problems 😊

hi aileen!! i am watching your videos consistently and love them and have now decided to create something! i am a writer and want to self publish my fantasy book, but for that i have to build an audience. but now comes my question, which I can't answer. I live in germany and write in german, (i also could write in english but never as good as in german). should i focus my youtube videos, blogposts etc on the "world" audience with english or on the german audience? i know a lot of booktubers who are from america, but none from germany. is this a niche or should i go broad? i am so confused! i would love to hear your answer aileen 🙂 <3

so graceful …
also I wanted to add that gratitude leads to finding joy but I'm guessing you have a whole video coming for that 😉❤❤❤

Hiya lovely, I feel joy when I see your new videos:) sounds weird but true. I have found myself through your videos. You are such an inspiration and I wish you only the best:) thank you for all you do for us people. Huge hug from us all:)

god aileen, your videos literally always make my day. this message was so beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you!

My most recent pure joy moment was last Friday night when I went on stage for the first time of my life to sing and dance. It was the final show of a one-week Glee bootcamp where we learned the songs and dancing moves. I had hesitated a lot before signing up because I was scared and I've never sung in public but my beautiful person encouraged me + you guys on the Lavendaire Facebook Page helped me make up my mind as well. I've rarely ever felt this happy, I didn't expect to feel so much excitement and happiness, I couldn't stop smiling during the whole thing. It was PURE JOY.

You uploaded this video at the perfect time! This morning I was actually thinking about how little things used to make me so happy and now they don't, at least not as much as they used to. It's probably because I'm not paying enough attention, I'm just getting lost in the world of schoolwork, my "online career" and social media, without noticing the things that bring me actual joy. Thank you, Aileen, I needed this. 💓

Should pure joy also come from your career? How do you decide whether to make your passion your career or instead opt for/stick to a financially stable, job secure career and keeping that passion a hobby?

I just wanted to say I loveeeee your videos and your channel.😍 You and your videos are just so motivational and I love it like go you

One of my resolutions is to do more things that make me happy. Which got me to ask myself well, what makes me happy? So I started paying attention and writing a list when something made me smile or laugh. Now even the list makes me smile. Joy can be found all around you. You just have to train yourself to look for it and when some days it is harder than others, you can go to your list. At least it's what I do. 🙂

You inspire me so much and I want to thank you because lately I've been listening to everything that you always talk about and I'm so thankful for the small things. I started morning pages and it's so amazing.
So I decided to move on with starting a blog and that's exactly what I wrote about last night. Being thankful with what with have. Last night I was just thankful for being able to watch tv with my husband and children.

I had a coach who said "Enthusiasm is contagious" all the time! I think what you said about joy being contagious is so true and another reason why surrounding yourself with people who share their joys and passions with you is so important 🙂

Hey Lavendaire, thank you for the inspiration. It's amazing how we can find joy from the simple things in life. 🙂

Such a helpful video. We rarely (we as in adults) rarely celebrate what brings us joy because we often get so busy.

Hi Aileen, all that you said makes perfect sense. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your positiveness. I'm just wondering, what are you doing for a living? Are you a full time youtuber or do you have a business? Also, can you recommend a youtube channel that is also as inspiring as yours? Thanks a lot. You always save my day.

Seen it since 2:33… but thinking at the list… at those passed moments of joy. And you know? …I have not one of them…for the list. Well, nevermind, just to share. p.x.: maybe in the (I hope near) future something joyous will come.Anyway, thanx for you for sharing this.Ciao

This was very inspiring for when your feeling down. I feel like for me cuddling with my cat always makes me feel better ! Also love the aesthetic of your videos 🙂

Another category for me is nature. I find the purest moments can be when it's quiet and you can really take in the colors around you and breathe fresh air

you're so beautiful inside and out and ahhh I love your videos so much. they make me so very happy. I'm always in such a better mood after watching them and I just wanted you to know that your positivity makes me really happy and at peace 🙂

Your videos completely help me so much, you are so bright and positive and you influence me in so many good ways.
Love your content ♥

I love your categories. For me number 5 would be emotions rather than humour alone. Being present with my emotions, laughing, crying, being outraged, makes me feel so alive and free

So much more people should whatch your videos, you're amazing, what you say is so right, and inspiring! Thank you for that.

Your back to basics series just come as a coincidence to me because I've been suffering from depression. Thanks so much for reminding me that happiness can come from very simple things around us. Love ya!

I'm so inspired with your channel. It really helps me a lot. It helps me handle my depression and anxiety because of your videos. Keep on inspiring others

so happy i've found your channel. it is helping me from getting out of my depression. love you. ❤

I am falling in love with you.😍 You're a goddess. Your videos are so inspirational. Now-a-days, I start my day by watching your videos and end my day with it. Keep it up.💞

im thankful that i found this channel, so that everytime i feel down, i can watch her video and feel great again abt my self, bless you aileen😭 u r so inspiring

Aileen Xu, I really wanna appreciate ur intention and effort to make our world more beautiful. Your videos are fuel to the soul☺

I recently found your channel through a suggestion from shameless maya and I'm so thankful that I did! I'm going through postpartum depression and I'm binge watching all of your videos. They are really boosting my mood and helping tremendously. You're such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for creating such positive content 💖

I love your videos. You always have great points, and you organize and communicate them really well 🙂 But joy is cheap? just kidding. I know what you meant 😉

🌸✨🙏🏼I think that you have the most beautiful and true channel of youtube … thank you for everything you share with us 🌸✨🙏🏼

Your amazing. I look up to you. Thank you for what you do. Id like to meet you. You ever come to western ma ? Thx xoxo

I love ur thoughts and insights…. Glad to know about u… Usually I never comment on any YouTube videos.. this is first time .. u r just amazing.. way to go 😘👏👏😘

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