horrifying news today we're reading Thomas mission general yeah this is my MTC journal for those of you who don't know what MTC stands for it is the Missionary Training Center I went to the Missionary Training Center in some Paulo Brazil in 2009 and this is that Sam is gonna read it and do some perusing and respond to it real-time for you did you guys know that rosetta stone went to the missionaries what we're like that's the spirit we're just gonna be drinking booze from the thousand nine I wasn't even in 2009 whoa what a time Wow today was my first day in the MTC boring boring boring I think I'm really going to enjoy the CTM especially once we are more in the zone so far it's not like a bunch of nineteen year old boys visiting Brazil I have to perpetually remind myself and hopefully others by my actions why I'm here I am NOT here to learn another language or experience another culture it was funny because like Commissioners always come home and they just feel like this so assimilated with the culture of the country let's see what you're just opening like I'm not here for that I am Africa my purpose isn't to meet new people or try new food it is to teach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ I am certain that once we begin classes on such the real nature of who we are and what we are doing it will sink in okay boring boring boring kids I've been trying to keep conversation uplifting and gospel oriented I'm also trying to be a hundred percent obedient even in the little things I probably seem like a buzzkill literally I was one L just said that rule is a little extreme I said laughing whoa that's kind of what we signed up for is so annoying I would yeah yeah it's really a trial for everybody um the parade in the room is making journal writing very difficult I guess I'll just write tomorrow passive-aggressive even to myself argh there's only one rule we break and it's the one that is so inconvenient to break we stay up talking to our Lima which means we're not sleep by 10:30 which means we are tired in the morning we have to get better at this okay I'll stop writing and start trying to be more obedient um I don't I don't think we talked about enough about missions you know how it's a common cult tactic to like deprive you of sleep yeah food that look like things that just make you disoriented and more easily manipulated yeah that was totally the entire mission life like we were so exhausted 24/7 constantly it never ends this just cats and trains and spills so to be clear you writing in your journal wasn't a video yeah what kills the other than it's like they're fair enough you know yesterday a teacher taught us a story from his mission in the u.s. that really touched me he didn't want to learn English and he didn't want to be in America so he was having some resentful feelings we're all having some reason ever heard well they started teaching a woman she wasn't being receptive but he felt prompted to challenge her to be baptized as he was doing so he felt an overwhelming testimony that he knew that woman and that he had promised in the premortal life to bring the gospel to her such a faith affirming story that he felt comfortable manipulating that woman into being baptized that's one of my least favorite Mormon little pad doctrine things the whole premortal life you know what's gonna thank you I mean just be like I got a prompting that this happened in the preamble to life yeah so done Lucia and also if you knew everything that was going to happen to you that like totally eliminates a se like if if the outcome is already predetermined yeah then it's predetermined there's no choice involved every factor influences every other factor I had butterfly effect if one person in the 1800's did something a little bit differently I my life would be totally would be non-existent you know what I mean yeah and so it's just horseshit today was really this is a Sunday he said today was really a day of rest IRA unless it's my family then fell asleep Oh de Blanc and I napped for two hours I felt bad for not capitalizing on my break it was really nice to rest your honor to your mission we've given up everything and you felt bad for taking a two-hour nap when you've just traveled from the u.s. to Brazil like three days ago and it was the last time in the mission we'd be allowed to take such an effort later on in the entry you said I started getting sick yesterday and it's continued on to today so you're even sick and feeling guilty about nothing for two hours on a Sunday the day of rest during the fireside I remember the letter I got from elder blank he told me not to wait around for a miraculous change in myself I know I need to really buckle down and get to work I know I have to push myself harder than I ever have before it's going to be very very hard but I know that I will be blessed for giving the Lord my all it's his time I'm on this is a wonderful time in life I'm it very well could be the only time I'm able to devote every second of every day to building the kingdom just a phrase that is like doesn't even cross your mind it's called t8y this video would be good because it would show the Mormons that are always like you never really understood it's like oh wait tannaz mission journal sounded like probably most of their mission journals if their mission journals are like we have this elder with us stick so far up is Amanda Tanner got rebuked by a teacher for trying to do some kind of like hand thing that was like pretending the whole mission there was potentially too politically incorrect in Brazil and Tanner says that when the teacher began lecturing me about how president Hinckley said we're supposed to be a new generation of missionaries and that we fall short of that when we do things that missionaries were doing when he was on his mission talk about humility but like Tanner will I randomly put words in Brazilian trying to learn that language miraculously even though I think such a chastisement was not fully warranted all the Brazilians I've talked to say that the finger-snap means hurry up or a way to express excitement I am glad to say that I not only took it but I also took it to heart I am a missionary the bar has been raised my personal bar must be raised it's time to leave the world behind all those finger snaps that have distracted me from spreading the Lord's message I haven't memorized the phrases for a testimony yet so I did my best you got to memorize that testimony Blanc gave me another opportunity to be meek today he told me to stop wasting the Lord's time chatting with another elder instead of working again you're on a TV emission way you have devoted in your own words every second of every day to the church and just having like a brief moment of respite by like chatting to another missionary that teacher was just perpetually grumpy like probably so repressed yeah it was just like miserable and constantly taking it out on missionaries today I tried to strike up the gospel conversation and someone said come on out there is such a thing as real life Otis Stacy and I exchanged puzzled looks I thought the gospel was real life well you were wrong I'm trying to create a better atmosphere in our room it's now mostly people exchanging insults slang terms and singing dirty American songs I'm playing my good music and encouraging uplifting conversation it may be time I just come out and say enough the more I teach and learn about teaching the more I am convinced that it is impossible for 20-year olds to convert people to the gospel it is impossible for me on my own talent of persuasiveness to convince anyone to change their life and accept and join the church I know it is impossible the fact that I know that is a testimony to me that the gospel is true and that this is not what the fact that I can know something without ever like I've seen any evidence for it simple I can I haven't actually 2000 anyone to attend one of my nervous anticipations was realized tonight companion confrontation it had to be about music the problem is that music is a part of people you attack someone's music you attack them I made the comment that we probably shouldn't be listening to certain music I have made the comment several times anyway my companion disagreed wholeheartedly I just let the issue drop it's better than contention that's good that's good that you did another double in in a way I feel bad for my companion I'm sure I am a trial to him in multiple ways he was so nice to me like he he was to this day is like one of the nicest people humans that interacts with me it seems like most of the time I stand alone on science of certain discussions and then the next day today I was feeling somewhat isolated from the members of my district I wonder how I really like talking to the sisters in our district I think our conversations tonight were heavenly father's way of reminding me that I'm not actually isolated not from him and not from others either I felt that I should discuss ways to become a more divine companionship during a companionship planning session given the events of the day I was apprehensive about doing it tonight but I took courage and shared the ideas as we talked about the Prophet and as I related a story about Heber C Kimball I felt such great power again it was like an invisible light had illuminated my whole body as we walk to the bolo party elder Megumi put his arm around me and together we sang praise to the manners we walked it's like even him who you thought wasn't like quite up to your standards also the bolo is the cake right Tana mentioned in a previous entry I was reading before this video that they had cake every night in between what likes before bed but after something else and he thought we should start skipping it so he could get in more study time again on a mission devising every second of every day in this mission of this church and he's like I'm gonna skip the cake thing but all the other missionaries in the Rings I go above and beyond my testimony of Joseph Smith the Book of Mormon and the restoration grows every day I wonder why oh god this is intense a couple of days ago we're waiting for a teacher to arrive so I began to draw a picture of Nephi Oh de Blanc challenged me to George as a Smith in under a minute so I did that to the class like the sketches so he kept them on the board last night we walked into the classroom and found that someone had erased portions of the drawing and left a note that said is this your time or the Lord's you're doing Joseph's in the Nephi what the part it's just it was such like everyone trying to be more righteous than everybody else what that is insane that's why Mormons are the way that they are on Twitter isn't it that's why the men are so like the guy I like women need to cover up all their low inviting sexual assault I'm like that's why you're the way that you are like the mission breeds this though my teacher and members of my district assured me that I have done no wrong I was still put out by that note part of me was distressed that someone had passed judgment and misinterpreted my actions misinterpreted you drawing Joseph Smith me fine the other part of me feared that I really had wasted the Lord's time both perspectives were disheartening I want to be a good missionary I'm really trying to stay focused and do all that I can do I keep that note with me to serve as a reminder this is so sad this is not like being a good versus bad person but on the mission like this shit is what people are thinking about anything that they're like leading people to God as if God this is just why I would like that concept of good and bad is so absurd I'm Nettie and if the fact that you would spend even a second of your day feeling bad for doing some little dude or much less one of like the religion that you're there to be like immersed in it's just absurd oh that's about for you I love showering after the gym because that's when everyone sings hymns in parts the only bad thing is that we can only show off for five minutes so I can't enjoy it for very long Oh everything that is known as woman's and missions is so insane we can only show for five minutes we have to wake up at 6:00 May the missionaries around me be blessed as they enjoy my constant singing and whistling seems that you're very tired I had a pretty nice conversation without a blank about obedience today I get a lot of flack for supporting a hundred percent obedience being obedient isn't hard for me I am glad to make sacrifices because sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven I know that I'll be a better missionary if I'm obedient to the Lord by being obedient the mission rules and the CTM rules in fact the Lord cannot bless me unless I am obedient to the laws upon which those blessings are predicated SoCalGas way at ninety Tanner's fucked up but I think it's probably best I speak English as little as possible so now we've got a like further detachment from your real life your family and everything coming in and another thing to feel guilty about and yet another thing to feel bad about yeah and like it's just alienates you further because you can't ever communicate as well on a second language as you can your first so it's just like further it's just it's like the whole I'm in 1984 they like limit that the number of words available get smaller and smaller in like a post route society and it's just like that like you're so limited in your language which limits the thoughts you're able to have which limits like the concepts you can think about which like just entrenches you further and further in the mission and the religion I've been hesitant about initiating conversations with Americans no problem with brazilians why's that more hesitant about Americans probably was judging them harder yeah your handwriting is getting progressively worse like from your first yeah entry interesting cycle frenzy I really look forward to communicating with my family on Wednesdays you say I've been wondering if I have been too uptight the outer Holland Hawk said you must be a disciple of Christ from the moment you open your eyes in the morning to the moment you shut them at night he then fled with the missionaries to basically grow up and get to know Christ by spending time with him in Gethsemane I'm trying to facilitate a faith promoting conversation but it's not working out and I can't think of anything else to write so you did have the thought that you were too uptight but then you were like this is what Jesus wants for me to be miserable this is what all my blessings are predicated on I guess someone asked me what my favorite Scripture was and they said second it was a wretched man that I am and when I decide to rejoice my heart groaneth because of my sins nevertheless I know in whom I've trusted I don't want to be prideful but I know that I am I want to be you know that you were what grateful oh god I want to be with my Savior I will give away all my sins to know him the only reason you like prideful is like you've been taught to have your identity be in the church so you're like proud of that for obvious reasons but like also the church is like you're never good enough and if you think you're good enough woe unto those who say well as well you know you're still sick I have to blow my nose every five minutes and I cough every time I tried to speak I can see blisters or something on my throat and tonsils every Thursday our district does some little service project for the CTM this week we wiped down the hallway walls on the bottom floor that missionary humanitarian and it wasn't really a needed service I like to think about projects like Henry Eyring in the onion patch I didn't come for the weeds it's just like there doesn't need to be a correlation between input and output right it doesn't have to do any good for anybody busy not thinking about how this doesn't add up it's not about effective altruism yesterday was an interesting day before dinner someone started talking about science and religion my curiosity was aroused so I kept the conversation in line until dinner in line for dinner the conversation spread to others nearby I was surprised at how much they knew on the subject like science yes we were captivated by the conversation so we invited the elders into our room to keep talking I was a little hesitant to discuss a few of our topics evolution but it turned out well in the end because I have my roommate saying how inspired and filled they felt when it was time to end our conversation I asked the two owners to bear their testimonies God just having like a little conversation and dinner at the end with you asking them for Banat tests Oh wretched man that I had brainwashed the entire mission don't you like once you're on the mission you just self brainwash essentially I remember that conversation there was an elder who he was talking about transhumanism he was like I think that you know we're gonna science it's gonna help us do the resurrection and that's part of God's plan we were all just like that guys and that's he ended up leaving the mission mm-hmm because he just like had so many doubts about Joseph Smith and things like the way he was like okay was violent trying to reconcile look back and I'm like oh shit that guy was under some serious internal pressure wonder what he's up to these days watching me get in touch my license that night went to their room and talked about the scriptures it was very uplifting some of the elders in our district I'm really into talking about deep doctrine most of it is unimportant at this stage in life and therefore fruitless to discuss when we talk I always add in it's not the knowledge that matters it's what you do with it how can we apply this conversation I have so much respect for our district leader he always says I'm just a boy from Miami all I need to worry about is the simple revealed doctrine what a guy it's so like yeah you're like such a distrust of science really I really respect this guy today I was reading our search for happiness while I waited for Jim to stop I really like the book God while I was reading I had a thought about the Holy Ghost and so I asked elders blank and blank what does it mean to be possessed they decided that it was to have another spirit in our bodies another spirit can only enter if we allow our invited like a vampire though it may not always be such a conscious decision I mean this is just a good quote whoever you are success happens when 10,000 hours of preparation meets one moment of opportunity boom Tony Robbins Joe Brogan when I for this I'm able to leave my sins behind and my sins at this point we're going to sleep I am so grateful for the blessings the Lord gives me every day I feel like I really don't deserve them he said today as we were walking to class we looked out the window and saw out of blankets parents across the street we couldn't really talk to them but it was still kind of dr. interesting are they a true oh yeah thing so I sorry I thought he was getting picked up or something they are trying to set up a meeting next week which I am against only because it's against the rules we'll see what happens why is that your concern anyway which I am against because it is so why were they there trying to then we're picking up his older brother who's serving Brazil okay so they were all trying to see him but they weren't technically allowed they ended up getting permission but I was like being a killjoy about the whole thing didn't want to be complicit in such a nicotine instead of opening class with a Portuguese hymn we sang we sang the star-spangled banner' exam every Friday two or three missionaries from our districts at chosen Teresa received through the district I was chosen today people said they liked my humor taste in music and my random quotes from scriptures and General Authorities that seems a bit tongue-in-cheek there it's like when I talk to my mom and she's like you just have so much information they said they liked how I want to share everything I know about the gospel comments but the more critical side of me took it as I need to talk like once I reminded myself I isn't a sin to be complimented I was very much uplifted by the activity once he reminded himself that it wasn't a sin to participate in a mission I mean presumably this is like setup by the you know the people in charge is not futurism yeah what a blind can I say um so much we decided that we will count every time we say it and then we have to match that number in push-ups just trying to make a mission interesting our district decided to do a push up for every English word we say during lunch not enough like boot camp come you got it in a bit a little bit this is sometimes most times I get so excited about a particular principle of the gospel in general I can hardly keep my mouth shut I've taken to asking people before I speak are you ready for a sermon that's what I just do it if they say no then forget it but if they say yes boy I let them have it I'm really fun apart easy you can see ways that like this has influenced your personality now but now it's like far more palatable and you know the things you preach about are like interesting and like you know it's just funny cause like people even then we're like recognizing your humor you obviously were passionate about music and are and I feel like now you're very careful with speech like you like process internally whereas I'm always just like Blair hmm so it's it is interesting seeing all the links I just talking to the boy boy patreon what sucks about this too is like I know every time I'm writing I'm realizing that I'm writing it for my descendants yeah so I want them to know how righteous I was by like constantly being a martyr about every goddamn thing dad yeah well away like it's like the truth or policing isn't it even your journal like your only real can't be authentic in me yeah I get that I my mom eventually told me she was like make sure you also write the bad things in there because you want to be the real you John 7:17 says that if we keep the commandments we can know whether the doctrine is from God or not I found that the same is true for the rules here when I am obedient to even the seemingly insignificant rules my mind is enlightened and I can see the purpose and need for those rules haha my enlightenment about me no throwing things out of windows came and an apple came crashing into the apartment a foot away from me and then someone's it landed on my shoe I thought yes the no throwing rule is a great rule for the CTN I'm only eating meat for one meal now the other day we were joking that with all the meat they serve us they might as well give us coffee too it was a joke but I feel better by eating less meat that's good hey seriously it was like for lunch I was like ham sandwich our breakfast was ham sandwiches lunch was beef and chicken and then dinner was beef and chicken I forget how Moens justify the whole I meet me in winter in times of famine thing yeah are they even trying no they're just like um it means it means twice a day because three times a day is excessive only in winter or times of famine that seems so clear clearer than the hot drinks thing totally like literally just like some church Nina decided he wasn't like that into that room and then that's just how that went they now none of them care about it incredible today I was reminded that the Savior loves me I who has known it but I guess I've been so preoccupied with telling others so I forgot to apply it to myself today we heard from the founder of JetBlue well better line yeah we're just like random into feet okay we sang at Battle Hymn called to serve medley every like sentence you write is like in church speak honestly you just like keep talking about growth and it's like there's no growth present here it's just like further entrenchment isn't it you talk about how your sense of time is really bad on the mission which makes sense I was worrying about my testimony of the Book of Mormon I felt that I have not received an answer to my prayer that would give me enough confidence to promise other people that their prayers would be answered and the veracity of the Book of Mormon confirmed to them in other words my belief in testimony was enough for me but maybe not enough for others I so telling isn't it another than always the case because missionaries all the time will be like pray about it and people will be like yeah nothing really happened and then they're like well they knows your fault yeah like then what's the point of asking them I was struggling over the masses so I took it to the Lord in prayer as I was praying an experience from when I was 14 was brought to my remembrance I remember at a time when I'd gone to the woods and prayed I remember riding my bike home and feelings so much love enjoy that I thought burst at the time I did not recognize it as the spirit but as I prayed and really of that event in my mind all I could think was was that not the Holy Ghost was that not an answer to your prayers you have a testimony of the Book of Mormon it's honestly how I felt driving home from work she was like overwhelmed with joy and it was like in the springtime sunshine by feel my wife you can do it Vince yeah I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon the spirit has borne witness to me blah blah blah I hear my voice Lord ever calling come my child and follow me and if thou giveth me thy whole self my choicest blessings are for thee so if I'm called to leave my family my spacious home and precious things all I have I'll give up gladly for the joy that goodness brings if I'm sent into the desert with no means to find my way oh dear lord please be my compass and by thy light I'll go each day PS this is like totally good enough for the enzyme a simple wrap structure but it's like you're good in the wilderness I wander and mine affections I shall bear for this loneliness and sorrow will bring me close to the in prayer so you felt loneliness and sorrow I'll walk until I find a mountain around which I cannot go I know it be it will be removed and like the valley be made low but if the mountain is not leveled though in faith I give commands strengthen my faith and I shall labor to move it daily with my hands that's an accent when the desert turns to ocean I will sail at my command teach me Lord to build the vessel to take me to the promised land so according to instructions given I'll build a ship across the sea to cross the sea and while I work I'll know that surely thou dear Lord are building me when on the deep a storm is raging and the waves are crashing down and my ship is wrecked and sunken and it seems like I shall drown I'll lift my voice and cry to heaven while the waves flood over my head if thou wert saved me from the water Lord Lord please give me strength to tread and if I make it back to dry land glory to thy name I'll give but if not contented for with the again our live it's interesting how many things and that is like I'll ask God to do this and even if he doesn't I'll be extra faithful and if you know like you for the vodka if the mountain is not leveled then you'll move it with your hands and you talk about how like you'll pray that the Lord will save you but if he doesn't then you know it's like it's just nothing is everything your points to the church being true like that's the that's the conclusion your there was no actual test yeah yeah yeah legitimacy yeah I just realized I haven't named all the members of our district I'm sitting right now as a semi silent observer to an escalating problem a couple of nights ago some elders in the floor above us were dangling a chain of tithes out of their window big no-no and an elder on a floor grabbed it and distributed the tasty odors on our floor the onus above us were caught in the act and was subsequently chastised oh they're just like dangling sometimes Oh today they wanted the tithe back because of pride the ties were withheld from them now it's come to contention the worst thing a Mormon can experience contention I'm watching the scene unfold pride pride pride how does on my floor won't accept the apology of the other odors and earlier they had been very rude and let this whole thing sink into the past they'd rather hold on to pride by holding on to the ties the other elders are gone now and the elders here are just stewing big it's interesting to observe I don't think I'm better than anyone else I just didn't happen to be involved I just wonder how the work can continue when the representatives of Christ in His Church I'm not acting like representatives at all hah how easy it is to see the mote my own pride is a big enough problem on its own it's like it is that your problem is like just ego it's not like it's not that you're like actually because you like hate yourself and like your price or but it's all just because you're like thinking about yourself too much you're like Mike you're just because the ego is all about convincing you that you're separate exactly and so that's what I'm constantly doing yeah making myself feels yep feel separate so that I feel isolated so that I feel like what I'm doing is I'm suffering for the lord's sake when all I'm doing is stoking my own ego and irritating the people around me yeah exactly I know I can and need to get more out of my scriptures this is coming from someone who's reading him four hours a day and basically writes in this journal I know my mission has incredible potential to forge me into the person I will be forever he said he held it up in the book in a manner of upmost seriousness with all the majesty of any profit from Scripture accounts testified with more power to the veracity of the Book of Mormon than I have ever heard with my mortally it's true I only have a minute I thought that the first day and the field warrants an entry this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done I'm going to be fighting discouragement for a while I think I can't even understand my companion most of the time that's what I have time for today okay so you got submission and briones and then there's a whole page of crossed out things of me being like this sucks so bad you could cross out so when you and negative in your journal okay well this has been a good MTC episode I do you think we should do some more episodes of this and in the future we'll pre scan the entries so that we can give you guys the really good ones of meat so if you want us to do that please give this video a thumbs up and leave a nice comment and subscribe and support us on patreon yeah thanks for listening thank you bye

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Conheci o canal de vocês há poucos dias e achei engraçado o fato de você ter feito missão no Brasil kkkk
Após minha libertação religiosa, estou na busca de libertar a minha família dessa nova ordem mundial.
Parabéns pelo canal
Abraço do Brasil, São Paulo!!

I left that cult in 2015. Thank god I was not in it for a long time. I was in that cult for 2 years unbaptized and left a month after baptism

I will admit that when Western missionary groups were pouring into East Europe after the fall of Communism, they were the only ones who would learn the language. Czech, Polish, Russian are very hard for English speakers and most groups would have a native member who was bilingual and would serve as a translator, but the Mormons would stop on their bicycles and strike up a conversation (or advertisement) in fluent Slovak/Czech or Russian or whatever language they needed.

Never got to serving a mission but I criiiinge reading my journal when I was attending BYU-I. I was so deep, smh.

My brother and sister were in the Provo Mtc together for a few days. She asked her leader if she was allowed to hug him because he was her brother and not just a random guy. Her leader told her they could shake hands but hugging was wrong. She was heartbroken because she wanted so badly to be obedient but wanted so badly to be able to hug her brother.

Even then, as a tbm still, that was a shelf item for me

Yes! More episodes of Tanner’s journal, please! Loved this. That story about the ties omg bahaha.

Tanner, with the long hair and mustache, you're looking like a young James Taylor. You could play him in a biopic, and I'd be totally okay with it. 😀

Love Zelf on the Shelf !
Ida Smith, paying a lifetime of Old Testament tithes paid the church leaders salaries.
Don’t let this happen to you… https://youtu.be/EWdwnk6qADc …lol…

Thank you for this. It was powerful & quite the trip to remember the way my mind used to work. Devastating to see it from the other side. I always "wanted" to go on a mission- I’m so glad I never did. Hearing about your experience sounds like literal hell. Thank you for sharing this- it’s therapeutic. And thanks for all the rad videos lately. 💕

I recently came home early from my mission I was supposed to be speaking Russian and I was struggling learning as I have had a learning disability my entire life. It made me feel like complete garbage and like I was letting people down and got I incredibly depressed and went through a couple months of wanting to commit suicide because I felt like I let everyone down and let god down and how no ones treats me the same anymore because I came home early and people to this day still won’t talk to me even people in my family who acted like they loved me before I left and now will not even look at me or acknowledge me at family events. It’s funny to listen to your journal and how you were always positive.

My friend was at the MTC to be a sister missionary, and while she was there her entire nasal cavity collapsed without her knowing, she just got really sick. When she went to the nurses there they told her she was just being tested by God. When she went back a day or two later knowing something was really wrong, they told her she just had severe separation anxiety and needed to be released from the MTC and her mission because she wouldn't be able to complete it. After going to the hospital, the doctors found a large abscess behind her face and the collapsed nasal cavity. She had to have emergency surgery.
Following this, she was given endless shit from other judgmental members for abandoning her mission.
I will never understand this culture.

For people who hate Mormons is pretty weird how EVERY SINGLE VIDEO is about Mormons. Obsessed or what?

This episode reminds me.of my old journal entries at an abusive baptist summer camp as well as my time spent in "reparative" or "ex gay" therapies! Warmed my heart to empathize with your past self and feel vindicated in getting out of all that 🖖💙

If I ever see an LDS missionary again I'm going to want to hug the poor guy and he won't understand why. Also how is gentle hippie-Tanner the same as the Tanner writing this diary? Is diary-Tanner just trying real hard to convince himself he is the hard-nosed zealot they want him to be?

This is excellent. Love seeing the contrast – your journal reminds me of the short-haired guy in a suit I met at that Snuffer deal. Thanks for the nipple slip in the vid BTW. Much more distracting than the cat.

gosh I feel sorry for little missionary Tanner, mission already sounds horrible, but Tanner really managed to not have any fun along the way lmao

The can't doesn't want to hear the journal! Cat covering it's ears going "meow meow meow not listening!! Meow mow!!!"

Okay, here is what all us non-Mormons really wanna know about missions. Where, when and how did you boys jack off? I mean come on, your teenagers for goddess sake! Two years?

So glad you guys are back, the Mormon Bachelor thing was taxing, lol. This was great though, and so descriptive as to how a mission makes one an asshole. It's what happens when you actually try to live the "gospel." It promotes tribalism, false modesty, censorship, oppression, groupthink, overkill on judgment, and in the end, it all leads to depression.

Start a series of reading mormon missionaries journals. I can’t finish mine when I go down memory lane.


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