Dark Souls 3 – PVP Edition (Live Action Parody)
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HIDE AND SEEK
Not in the mood for an invasion? Why not say screw off with a cleverly positioned gesture? Invaded by Dark Spirit ‘Does this sword make my penis look small’ ! (Curl Up) Surprise b*tch! Hey! Where’d you go?! Several minutes later… Hey! Several more minutes later! Hey? Come and get me! My backs turned! WHERE are you?! Where did you go?! Is there a cliff around here? ECHO Too long! Where.. are you?! 45 minutes wasting my life! I’m outta here! Dark spirit ‘Does this sword make my penis look small’ has died. The Buff
Another exploited utterly useless negligible boost of a stat to give the buffer the delusion of an edge in battle. But is instead viewed as a waste of the duelers time. Summoning Dark spirit ‘Parry Panic’ AHHHHHHHH!! Get back here! Get back here! You get back here! AHHHHHH! Damn it! AHHH! I’m gonna cut you off! AH! I’m gonna cut you up! How much stamina do you have?! Gotta get outta here.. What..? It’s not working! Damn it! It’s the wrong bone! Oh, ok. Dark spirit ‘Parry Panic’ returned home. ..F*%# You! Got stamina?
If you can’t beat him just out run him. Summoning mad spirit ‘Meta Buff’. Let’s get serious! Oh my God his connections awful! What the hells happening..? Uh oh! Stop it! You stop that! I’m ready. How did you get behind me?! GAH! I’m not dead yet! AHH! My shoulder! AH! I used tears of denial. I’m dead! I’m dead leave me alone. OW! LAG…
More dangerous than any Dark Souls boss fight. Nope! F! off! Nope! We’re done! Wait! Wait!! Wait!!! Get lost with that crap! What the hell.. Why’d you have to go and do that? I was fighting you legitimately! F^$#@! You ruined it! That was an accident! You RUINED MY LIFE! Nothing? Really? NO! F*[email protected] off! We’re done! Fine. F^!& it! Mad spirit ‘Tiny testicles’ has returned home. DON’T DO IT!
Resist all urges to heal especially if you called for the duel in the first place. Alright.. Let’s see what we’re working with here.. Oh! Look at you! Let’s get it on! What the hell are you doing?! Are you really gonna make it that easy for me? Alright Whatever.. (Clap Sarcastically) 360 PARRY
..that just happened. Oh Jesus Christ! What happened?! OH God! Oh Jesus! It won’t cooperate! I can’t see! I’m gonna kill you if I can find you! Where did you go?! GAH! Are you right- OW! Leave me alone! Leave me alone. OW! I’m gonna have to roll.. I’m rolling.. I’M ROLLING! Okay I’ve got space! Holy Shit! AHHH! Oh shit! Am I stabbing you..? I can’t see.. GAH! I… Now it’s fixed.. F*** THAT CAMERA!
That camera belongs in the lowest circle of Hell…