Christian Dating Boundaries

I’m good intentions don’t mean Jack Shit.
All that matters is what you can do. So you can say you can
have the best intentions, the way only 3% of the people and
the United States actually wait. So I would say if you want to be in
that 3%, you know, you, you, you, it’s not going to happen by accident.
It’s going to be the equivalent of, you know,
training for the Olympics. So this was a question I
actually answered last time. Yes, you can kiss if you’d like to.
Um, for me, I don’t, I listen, I haven’t, I say all this to say
I haven’t dated. Okay. Really. So I’ve been abstinent for two, six year stretches and every time I say
that I have to tell people that for a little over three years ago,
I actually made a mistake. So it hasn’t been six years straight. It was six years straight when
I first gave my life to Jesus. And then the last six years I was absent. And except for one night I slept with
a girlfriend and it was just a mistake. It was just an accident. And,
um, but all that being said, I haven’t dated, so I can’t imagine the level of temptation
when you date because I haven’t, I haven’t loved someone.
So I’ve just, what I’ve done a good job of setting up
boundaries and removing the temp myself far from the temptation
so I didn’t mess up. Um, and I keep girls in the
friend zone and I wanted to, I will date and I want to date, but I
haven’t been there. So if it’s someone, I would say this, if it’s
someone that you’re in love
with and to think, you know, you’re moving toward marriage and you,
I’m sure I’m going to kiss, I’m going to kiss now what? I’d be
alone with them and make out. No, I would not because I know myself.
Okay. And most people aren’t honest with
themselves when it comes to boundaries. They want to pretend that they’re stronger
than they are. I did the same thing. This is how I, I backslidden
uh, for several years, because I was abstinent for six years
and I thought I was stronger than I was and I played with fire and I got burned. And once I started down
that slippery slope, I couldn’t stop and it
over the next five years, it damn near destroyed my life and a lot
of my relationships and I wasted a lot of time.
So now my boundaries are up very far. I don’t spend time alone with
females. So I would say, you know, can you kiss in public? Yeah,
sure. Absolutely. I mean,
I’m not a, I’m not a monk. You know, I’m not a priest. So I would
say yes, but I would not be alone. I would not Netflix and chill.
Oh well I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t Netflix with somebody alone. I would not watch a movie with them alone
because that you’re setting yourself up for failure and all that
really matters is what you can do. I say that all the time.
Good intentions don’t mean Jack Shit. All that matters is what you can do. So you can say you can
have the best intentions, the way only 3% of the people in
the United States actually wait. So 97 out of a hundred never don’t wait. And I don’t know how
many of them are trying, most of them probably aren’t trying,
but only 3% of. So I would say if you want to be
in that 3%, you know, you, you, it’s not going to happen by accident.
It’s going to be the equivalent of, you know,
training for the Olympics. So you’re going to have to
be very disciplined and very
strict. So, um, you know, if, if it’s somebody that you
feel strongly about, yeah,
sure. Kiss, kiss in public, go for it. Um, but, but I, I would strongly recommend being alone
with them and make an hour. Well, I’d have strong boundaries. So I know some people have some people in
my life that it, I’m, one of them is, um, my pastor and his wife, they weighed
it and, um, you know, they did, they, they did certain things, you
know, um, to successfully wait. One of the things, and I
thought, I think this is funny, I always remember is as they could only
touch where there were clothes, you know, so anywhere, there wasn’t
clothes hold on wait. Yeah. Anywhere. No, no. They could only touch
where there wasn’t clothes. Sorry, check that they could only touch
where there wasn’t clothes. So like the could touch an
alarm, a hand, whatever. But if there were clothes
over top of it that you could, they couldn’t touch there so you couldn’t
like make out with them and grab their butt or whatever.
So I would say, and he know that that’s
probably a pretty good rule. That’s pretty good
boundaries. Um, but you know, people ask questions all the time like,
Hey Kay, what about oral can we can, you know, is oral sin? And
yeah, it is. And not only that, but you’re still in danger
of falling in the sex trap. You’re still in danger of bonding
with the wrong person. You know, so remember why you’re doing this. You’re doing this because you
want to think with a clear head. You want to be able to
evaluate that person with a
clear head and see if there’s any red flags, anything telling you that you should
not be with this person long term. And then listen and once you’re sure, get married as fast as you want and
have all the sex, I’m not against sex. Sex is awesome. Sex is
amazing. God invented sex. But what we’re saying is this is a way
for you to find out if it’s the right person. Thank you so much for
watching my video on youtube. I want to take a moment here at the end
to tell you about something that is not only important to me,
it’s important to the world. Recently I wrote a book
entitled why Waiting Works, how fast sex prevents us from finding
true love and longterm happiness. It has an average five star review on
Amazon and it’s written so practically that even readers that didn’t agree with
my stance on waiting have told me it caused them to reevaluate their lives. So if you or anyone you know is single
or a few or anyone you know is a physical relationship and not married,
I’m imploring you to pick
up a copy of my book. It literally will take you a
maximum of four hours to read it, and it has the potential to
change the course of your life. It’s one thing to do something that
you don’t completely understand. It’s a whole different thing to do
something when you know exactly why you’re doing it, and that’s what my
book is really doing for people. So I just want to thank you in advance.
Again, this is something that’s important to me, but it’s even more important
for the rest of the world, and I could really use your help
to get the message out. Thank you. Okay.

YouTube Community, thanks for watching! Makes sure to subscribe, give a thumbs up, and leave a comment below (I read every single one and reply to many). Get the FREE Why Waiting Works "CRASH COURSE" (2 Chapters + Video + Audio):
Purchase the book, start a Truth About Sex small group and be part of a social revolution:

I'm a 27 year old virgin. Whilst I was raised Christian, I'm no longer practising and I hold onto my virginity because I'm waiting for the best guy. But here in London, UK it's hard to find a serious guy as casual dating is the norm here. I watch you because you give good advise and I feel reassured I'm doing the right thing. 😊😊😊😊

Oh wow I didn’t know about the 3% statistic. I’m proud to know that I was one of the 3%! I’m with you rob I was in able to kiss either, it was just too risky for me and after a mistake prior I had to take extreme measures to not fall again.

Dear Rob & all, duringring marriage ceremony the celebrant says: "You may now kiss the bride." Why? Is it because the male was not supposed to do it before he married the bride (that's while dating)? I think so. It is old fashioned but it's safe. Better safe than sorry! Why? Because it's very intimate and especially for those who were sexually active before, it keeps the entire " department" under control, especially imagination (actions start in the mind) & temptation. Add to the equation strong physical attraction, the God-given NEED for sex in men & their quick sexual arousal threshold, previous individual sexual activities / experiences & sexual deprivation…..We have a ticking bomb ready to explode in the near future. As men are physically wired, they like dominating in general, winning arguments & when it comes to intimacy their standards are always right…well, no wonder kissing is OK when dating….Of course people would call me a fanatic, a frigid or old fashioned, but don't forget that David's sin with Batsheba started with only A LOOK! And he wasn't sexually starved like the ones that keep themselves pure for the Lord! Nor was he – from the roof of his royal residence – innocently date-kissing " girlfriend" Batsheba (who happened to be taking a bath in her own backyard). As a result, Batsheba's husband & David's baby with Batsheba died, David's influence over his nation & family was badly injured, his own son raped & then rejected his half sister (David's daughter), and one of David's sons revenged the rape by killing the offender (that was his half brother)

Hello.. i have requested..hope you can read and replay..I always comment and not get back hug from you sir.. it's a great one topic to waiting until marriage. That's my hight price I'm still keep until now.. just.. in my country not easy to found a Christian Man. And I don't want lose my faith. Cause I'm knowing to who I'm believe. Then.. Western is Christian world. Just not easy to found man save body until marriage. And not have faith in God, only identity. And some for fun. And lots marriage to Asian women with change Faith. And we know.. that man is a leader for family. It's great blessings if Man Western specially have pondation faith to bring women to follow knowing Jesus. But lots women take control of it. Most Man far from God. Feel sad. Lord feel sad too. How our generation ? I wish you can make your wisdom to make video. What God vision to the man in Lord way for be leader and save children still in Lord's Jesus faith for our generation. It's really important. I said this cause here we are so though about this. Thanks so much .

I am that 3% right now and will continue to do so because I want to obey God's commandments!


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