Challenges that Threaten Spiritual Growth During Difficult Hard Times
Articles
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Namaste everybody This is Lisa A. Romano
the breakthrough life coach and I’m hoping that you guys can see me it looks
like everything is is okay on my end you know I wanted to just so you guys know
you can click on the hand and you can ask questions which is awesome and
hopefully everything will go well today you never know with technology but I’m
going to do my very best to be able to work my way through this this webinar
platform and hopefully answer some questions and actually get you guys on
live I have a new headset on and so I’m hoping that everything goes well but you
never know I’m gonna do my best those of you who followed my work for a
long time you know that I’m kind of past being afraid to throw spaghetti up
against the wall meaning that I never know if something’s
gonna work until I try and if it works that’s awesome if it doesn’t well what
are you gonna do and to get to that point was a great spiritual challenge
because and that’s what this webinar is all about it’s about spiritual
challenges and during the holiday season I think that we’re very much challenged
because of many many reasons especially if you come from your parents were
alcoholics or narcissists or emotionally neglectful or just out of it and we’re
not emotionally a tune to you that’s damaging it’s it’s traumatizing because
children need to feel attuned to because if they don’t they feel like they’re
floating in outer space and they’re looking around thinking that everybody
else is centered and on planet earth but they feel like they’re out in space and
we can’t develop emotionally or psychologically neurologically
anatomically physiologically as well as we could have had we been attuned to
rights it’s not our fault and so a great spiritual challenge is being able to be
comfortable with being vulnerable and being comfortable with saying yeah
this is how I feel I feel like crap today yeah you know that’s what I’m
feeling this what I’m going going through it’s such a spiritual challenge
because we are conditioned to feel like there’s something wrong with us even
though there’s nothing wrong with us we’re conditioned to feel like we should
be ashamed of ourselves and those of us who carry shame we find it very
difficult to be the self right when I say be the self you know I I can go on
forever about what the self is you know but for the purpose of this webinar what
I’m talking about is we can go on we have to understand that what a huge huge
spiritual challenge for human beings is vulnerability is Miss Brown mr. Brown
has been discussing over the years it’s very difficult to be vulnerable and say
I think I feel I want I’m afraid I’m afraid of I fear this might happen I
don’t feel this I do feel that whatever it’s so scary to just accept how you
feel right we’re so conditioned to fear what other people think and so it’s one
of the spiritual challenges that we face today I’m dedicating this webinar to my
friend Debbie who has been down in the dumps lately and it’s okay dear one it’s
okay Debbie it’s okay to all of you we’ve all been there the human mind the
condition of the human mind is is unconsciousness right and we’re on the
path towards evolving our souls but we have to remember that this soul is in a
physical human body and that the soul is playing with the tools that are in the
shed thank you it ego and superego the personality is not us our programs
are not us our beliefs are not us they’re not the us that is ethereal is
divine and perfect and what we’re trying to do is master our humaneness which is
very difficult especially for abused adult chil
of alcoholics and narcissists and emotionally unate inject out people or
dysregulated people and that’s why I love working in you know this field
because I just feel like a lot of us are forgotten about because we are able to
maintain a home you know we put our lipstick on every day you know our lawns
a mode and our finances are in order we’re not really causing a problem in
society you know which but we’re not happy or we’re just trying to survive or
we’re not complaining you know we’re acquiescing and we’re
doing the best that we can but because we’re not on extreme ends of the
spectrum and we fall somewhere in the middle we’re not really causing problems
for anybody and many of us are the mop and we’re the broom and we’re constantly
picking up other people’s messes and stuff you know we look like we’ve got
our stuff together but inside we could be the most depressed the most unhappy
person we can be nurses and doctors and lawyers and candlestick makers and
nannies and receptionists and secretaries and whatever you know and we
can look so okay but at the same time be so not okay so every year for a few
years now I don’t even know it’s got maybe five years now I’ve been five or
six years I’ve been holding webinars and Facebook live streams sending out more
newsletters during this time of year because statistics don’t lie emergency
room visits peak during the holiday seasons there are more heart attacks
during the holiday seasons there are more attempts at suicide more violence
more domestic violence you name it during the holiday seasons um if you’ve
come from a dysfunctional home you’re not surprised by that you know if you’re
somebody that suffered with depression you know you know that that um that
isn’t a big surprise for you
I just want to make sure someone just said something just don’t don’t get too
too upset about me just being a little distracted right now because someone
said something about sound and then someone said it’s okay so I hope that
you know the sound is okay someone has already asked a question which is good I
just want to make sure I’m not missing anything for you guys um let’s see let’s
see let’s see okay and I want to see if anybody is already know okay so that’s
good sorry dear ones I just want to make sure that I’m okay on my end um and so
it’s important that we understand that many of us who come from dysfunctional
homes are going to suffer more during the holidays and that’s normal sounds
crazy but it’s normal and I think that you know it’s important for people who
understand what other people are going through help share the information that
it’s totally acceptable to not be so happy during the holidays it’s totally
acceptable because it is just the way it is and you’re not crazy when we feel
validated our soul kind of eases or and our spirit kind of eases and even the
egos like okay nothing to be crazy about right now like it’s okay that my it’d is
a little sad right now like that’s normal right it also helps to reprogram
the inner critic because the inner critic is that aspect of us that has
been downloaded with information and programs that it has been conditioned to
believe are the norm so the right way to be so think about religion right think
about someone who’s grown up in a really strict religious home that the narrative
of that religion or what’s been conditioned because part of the
super-ego and so if I deviate let’s say I’m gay and my religion says
sexuality is unacceptable you know and whatever part of my inner dialogue has
me self-loathing because the inner critic has been downloaded with this
information which represents the norms of my culture it’s not me it’s what
someone else said I should be doing or paying attention to right it’s not me
now I will create or what will happen is there will be Thank You Debbie Debbie
just said that she she hears everything fine so um what will happen on a
psychological level is we will experience cognitive dissonance so I
think is important and I’m working with a professor of ethics right now and
we’re dissecting the self and hopefully we’ll get a book out of this so when we
ask ourselves we ask ourselves like Who am I and you know why am I depressed and
what’s happening it’s very important that you don’t get stuck in linear
thinking because you’re a multi-faceted creation so you are a physiological and
human being you are a quantum vibrational human being you are a
subatomic human being you are a divine human being but you are also a
psychological human being but that all and that’s not you right you know you
are an inner child that carries the wounds of the inner child right but you
are also the twelve-year-old you the fifteen-year-old you the thirty year old
you the fifty or sixty year old you you are also the the future you right so
sometimes I think what happens is when we’re depressed and we’re upset our
emotions have the ability to like Zoop pull everything into focus and then we
it’s hard for us to pull our focus back and go away we wait what what’s the big
picture right but those of us who have the ability to go you know macro you
know and then like pull back in and let’s look at the big picture zoom out
you know we we can limit the amount of time we spend feeling depressed and that’s what
happens to me that’s what healing looks like Healing isn’t this quantum leap I’m
sad and now I’m happy that’s bullshit like that is not reality
you know it’s like even a car needs to go from zero to one or you know some
cars will get from 0 to 100 faster than others but no car goes from zero to 100
at least I don’t think so so what I mean is like when we’re
talking about the emotional scale it’s unrealistic for us to think that we can
go from being very sad to very happy right it’s just we shouldn’t be doing
that there should be this this this momentum or this continuum right and
when we are doing it deliberately so when I wake up and I’m upset about
something let’s say something’s happens with one of the kids you know and I’m
feeling sad about something that I obviously can’t control because what
makes you sad shit you can’t control what makes you pissed off shit you can’t
control seriously sir I’m not lying you know we get upset about stuff we can’t
control we get pissed off about people saying stuff we wish they didn’t say we
get sad when shit happens that we that we can’t control that we wish didn’t
happen but it did so what we’re gonna do right what are we gonna do so if I am
upset you know I for instance this year I lost my mom on my birthday in March
and then my beloved I could probably get emotional day I’ll probably get more
emotional about my dog passing away a few weeks ago a few like few months ago
then even when I talk about my mom sometimes because my puppy was a
constant in my life for like 15 or 16 years and she she went through this the
whole like divorce shit with me you know when the kids were out it was me and my
dog Tori you know watching HBO drinking tea up on the couch cuddling you know so
this year I’ve experienced some significant losses both my mom and my
puppy in the same year like that’s to me that’s pretty significant if you’re an
animal lover you know what I’m talking about you know this was like a person to
me and so but here is my choice you know
here I had this these things happen losing my mom
and it was a spiritual challenge for me to accept what happened without losing
myself and without going down a rabbit hole which is really about a bunch of
resistance so so a rabbit hole is equal to resistance when I’m ticked off that
something’s happening that I don’t want to happen
I can go down a rabbit hole but if I can stay in my body and we’re going to get
to the spiritual challenges some of the I think what did I write down I think I
wrote four yeah I I you know I wrote down for what I think are four really
major spiritual challenges especially that take place during the holidays but
if we can accept how we feel and keep out of resistance to what’s happening
and we can stay in our body with it and we breathe through it you know what will
happen is our focus will go be going we’ll go from macro to zoomed-out and
will feel lessened by it right so pain has this ability to make everything come
into focus right and then when that happens
ego kicks in old programs kick in fight-or-flight kicks in our vibrations
kick in so all of these facets of us begin to get pulled into focus and if
we’re not careful and we lose we lose our ability to hold on to a higher state
of awareness a higher consciousness then what’s happening in this situation is
going to pull us down the rabbit hole that’s why it’s so so important I think
science you know I know it saved my life helps me understand these concepts
I understand fight or flight I understand that my body is automatic and
order autonomic and that I am tapped into the Morpho genetic field and that
there are just certain things like loud noises that startle people or being
frightened or have something you know come in your peripheral vision these are
automatic responses and the the brain considers it stressful because it’s a
novelty it’s not supposed to be there I know that novelty creates
fight-or-flight creates fear and I all so know that this is where what I teach
in my programs and it really does help people break through is because you can
become conditioned to dysfunction and then healthy things are novelty so you
can be conditioned to attract narcissistic men or narcissistic females
and you can be conditioned to fawn and turn yourself down and cater to someone
else’s feelings and then meet someone who’s like how are you feeling what do
you think what’s going on with you and you your brain will consider that a
novelty it doesn’t make sense it’s not my norm and and being around someone
who’s actually being kind to you contribute to a fight-or-flight response
that is freaking key to a codependent or to someone who’s grown up in a
dysfunctional home because if you don’t gain control over that and learn how to
process that right because this is technical stuff healing is technical
it’s not just whoo-hoo waving a magic wand and burning some sage you know and
saying a couple of prayers and boom I’m healed hell no healing is neurological
it’s about the subconscious mind because the subconscious mind is tapped into the
universe and your vibrational frequencies are a reflection of what’s
going on the subconscious field and the subconscious field is the result of your
external experiences that have been impressed upon your conscious field and
then impressed or impregnated into the subconscious mind and you know it’s like
a garden when you throw seeds into a garden you know what you eventually see
grow in your yard is the matrix and the soil can be considered the subconscious
mind and the seeds are the conscious field throwing sowing seeds so if I’m
angry and hostile and abrasive argumentative confrontational I walk
around you know in victim mode and you know I’m looking for who’s going to
attack me I’m seeding seeding seeding seeding
my physical body is seeding karmic seeds into the soil
that is the subconscious mind right and what will show up consistently in my
experience is opportunities to feel victimized I will see it everywhere even
if I’m not being victimized you know Mother Teresa could ask me for lunch and
I could be pissed off right because it’s about about what it’s about our trauma
lens it’s about what’s been sown it’s about the glasses that we’re wearing
it’s and not until we change what’s in the subconscious mind can we really
shift that’s a huge spiritual challenge to be a human being that is affected by
external experiences that are now dictating our internal experiences and
thus creating our new external experiences it’s really tough that talk
about being spiritually challenged to be a spirit incarnated in an imperfect body
that has been plugged into a grid in an imperfect world surrounded by
unconscious people hello oh my god if you are on the here if you’re on the
healing path and you feel any relief from a day ago or a year ago patch
yourself on a bat on the back because that is a tremendous feat now the
holidays let’s talk about let’s pull back zoom out and let’s get a little bit
more realistic rather than emotional about what’s
happening during the holidays okay holidays are very much a construct of
big corporations there are opportunities to create commerce can we just say it
okay it’s it’s an opportunity to create commerce so what happens is you know
companies the end of the year companies want to make a lot of money before the
end of the year right and they need excuses to get rid of money at the end
of the year all this stuff fits together and so you know our our but this is the
thing we can’t resent it we just have to appreciate it like without commerce
right now until we come up with another form of commerce like love energy or
whatever you know we’re dealing with money the world of Caesar
so the in exchange of money for a service okay
fine no problem but we have to be careful that we aren’t caught up in the
nonsense of it right see it for what it is the holidays happen that most of them
the big holidays happen at the end of the year it’s an opportunity for
companies to make a lot of money how do we do this we corporations use the law
of attraction sure to their advantage they create images of what they want to
experience they want you to stuff Walmart they want you to go crazy on
Black Friday they want you to go apeshit on Cyber Monday right so they are
deliberately putting that out there cyber monday Black Friday ripped up that
you know buy a big turkey for Thanksgiving you know fine and if you do
that that’s fine traditions I like kind of like traditions you know they’re a
little bit like glue you know keep people together I get it but as long as
we can see the manipulation and we’re not blind to it I think we feel a lot
better in our own skin and so let’s understand that corporations are going
to try to make us first buy into what they think we should be experiencing
which of course is buying their products right number one number two they’re
going to try to use any imagery right music you can’t go into a store without
hearing Christmas music or Hanukkah music wherever you are you can’t go into
store these days without hearing it and so that’s important that we pay
attention to that now why is it important for an abused until trial to
know that it’s important that you know that because this feeds into our
codependency it feeds into our sense of isolation it feeds into our not enough
nests it feeds into everybody else the black and white thinking and the grass
is always greener on the other side thinking it it really does make us feel
more isolated and more alone especially when and this was definitely true in my
case my family was is still below the veil
consciousness right and so when I went nope no contact for about a year and
they had they were together for the holidays you know in my head I’m like
they’re getting together they’re acting like everything’s okay nothing is okay
but they’re all going to get together like everything is okay I’m sure they’re
talking about me you know they were come on dysfunctional families as they do you
know call me paranoid or what but I scale nine to ten most likely at an
eight or nine my my name came up right so it’s dysfunctional families do
um but that being said even though I felt like I was holding on to myself and
I was doing the right thing the little grow inside of me wanted to
be with my family the little girl in made the human being
in me that wants to connect with people felt worse because everybody else was
together dr. diamond is a famous researcher and she studied rats and
believenot rats are very much like human beings who knew they are very social the
momma pups are very attentive and they need social interaction and what they
did was whatever I don’t agree with it but I mean this is how we know this
stuff but they when they isolated rats from their from their families these
rats a lot of them suffers from depression and some even died you know
they’re they it was obvious that they were suffering right then if you took
rats that you separated the rats and then you put them back with their pack
you know their behaviors came back and they were cuddling and they were happy
again right it’s just interesting stuff so if you’re somebody who has gone no
contact because of dysfunctional fan of family situation you’re a warrior you’re
a warrior because you’re facing what most human beings run from forever
yourself yourself most people question you know why am I
here Who am I these deep deep philosophical questions existential
questions right when you are forced to ecstasy
yourself from a family dynamic that is debilitating and harmful for your own
sake because being there is just too painful you it’s it’s like you’re it’s
you’re choosing the lesser of two evils so it’s like if I stay I’m gonna get
third-degree burns but if I go I’ll have first-degree and second-degree burns so
it’s like that’s the choice and abused adult child has to make really really
seriously come on now that’s a tough choice to make right and for some people
they’re a degree second degree what’s difference you know there is a
difference there absolutely is a difference third degree is hard to come
back from you’re deformed forever you know like that’s tough stuff second
degree not as painful but very painful but you know less scarring blah blah
blah you get the picture and so abused adult children are forced to face
themselves during the holidays and it’s debilitating so it’s in but what we have
to do is we have to encourage one another to know that that’s normal and
we have to pull out right because the pain of it is going to make everything
seem amplified so to pull out with to see the big picture we have to some of
the things that we can do is use self-reflection use journaling connect
with nature you know and say things like you know I refuse to give in to this
holiday bullshit like congrat other people have families I’m so happy that
you know they get along with their kids good for them you know I hope one day I
have that that’s just awesome but for now it’s me myself and I my trees my
cookies whatever you know what I’m gonna go volunteer at a homeless shelter or a
soup kitchen or I’m gonna go play with some animals at the Animal Shelter I’m
going to spend my holidays my way the goal really is to accept what is and
then to shift your focus on purpose and to begin to reject reject what Big
Brother wants you to think your holiday is supposed to look and feel like reject
it absolutely reject it and side to make your holidays all about how
you want to spend them so there is six on them on the one hand it’s the
accepting what is this is how I feel you know I don’t have that experience right
now I hope one day in the future to have it so non-resistance and then on the
other hand is hmmm what do I want to make my holidays feel like because
everything is about feeling feeling feeling feeling so if that means that
you know you decide that on Thanksgiving or the day after Thanksgiving or
Christmas Eve or Hanukkah whatever during Hanukkah whatever it is your
holiday is Kwanzaa whatever it doesn’t matter but if you decide that the hell
with what merchandisers and say my holiday should look like the hell with
that this is my brain this is my reality this
is my paradigm this is my birthright to create my reality I let people have that
that’s fine good for them but this is what I want to do this is my definition
of a holiday go for it right get out ahead of it don’t wait to not wait so
accept how you feel and then create something different now the magic in
that and those of you have taken the master class the magic in that is that
you are changing the paradigm and because you’re focusing on how you want
to feel everything that you have deposited I’ll use Esther Hicks term
into the vortex of what you want to one day experience you’ve already you’ve
already dreamed it and wanted it desired it even through your sleep right so it’s
out there and some some quantum plane somewhere it’s out there the problem is
if that’s on the in the on the penthouse floor and some quantum playing on some
quantum plane somewhere and you’re stuck in the basement focusing on what you
don’t have this holiday right as long as you focus on what you don’t want you
can’t get vibrationally you know imagine your vibrations or what’s making the
elevator car go up so if your vibrations are dank because your focus right you
can’t get to the penthouse floor and actually resonate with all the things
that you want to experience that’s what’s really cool about becoming a
deliberate creator but to become a deliberate creator you
have to heal the wounds of the inner child that are keeping you stuck because
it’s dank energy you have to learn to detox right and there are tools to do
that all right I digress okay bear with me so what you
want to do this holiday season is accept what is but get out ahead of it and
decide how you want to spend your holidays just decide make a decision
right and then understand that the more you focus on feeling good and feeling
good and feeling good and feeling good and feeling good you know all of these
good feelings that you’re creating because you’re ignoring you’re ignoring
the stuff you can’t control over here what happens is meditating and
journaling and falling in love with the tree I know it sounds hokey pokey but
it’s freaking awesome you know just appreciating life and
appreciating butterflies and appreciating your skin and appreciating
your heart and appreciating this and appreciating the sky and these this
webinar just saying you know just appreciating and appreciating and all of
a sudden you’re resonating at the plane that mirrors the experiences that you
want to experience even though what got you there we’re not the experiences that
you want to experience that screws a lot of people up with the law of attraction
you don’t have to experience the experience that you want to experience
in them in the 3d world you just have to feel equal to that experience right so
baking if baking makes you happy bake if you don’t have someone to bake for baked
four we have a hospice not far from here you know um bake for the hospice you
know if you like to sing sing if you have no one to sing for go to a nursing
home and then ask them if you can sing for the residents on Christmas Eve you
know Anthony’s Aunt Jean is an um is in a assisted living place the pressing you
know and my mom was in an assisted living place for a while and every time
somebody walked in with a costume or walked in singing it just brightened up
everybody’s day so giving without expecting anything return is actually
that’s you the gift of giving because then you’re receiving and receiving this
energy so it’s all about sewing it’s all about intention it’s all about giving
without any expectation and what’s happening is
you’re increasing your vibrations and your sewing karmic tokens into the
matrix that will eventually return to you so that is why it’s so difficult
during the holidays for those of us who come from dysfunctional homes you’re not
alone there are millions and millions of us 28 million okay 28 million children
or adults in America that are affected by alcoholism alone one in four children
goes home to an alcoholic parent I’m just talking about alcohol I’m not
talking about weed I’m not talking about prescription medications I’m not talking
about anger I’m not talking about codependency or narcissistic abuse I’m
not talking about family dysfunction other types of family dysfunction heroin
I’m not talking about any of that just alcoholism so the chances of children
going home to a home that is completely regulated with two parents that are
emotionally balanced I’d like to say that those were good odds but they
aren’t I do think that if we keep having conversations like this those odds will
increase because every time a mom heals that’s an opportunity for her children
to heal and that’s an opportunity for her grandchildren to have a better life
right and that’s how we change the future paradigms we changed we changed
the future generations by changing our generation right we don’t wait for our
grandchildren to change the world we change we are part of that change so I
hope that helps you so I want to talk about I know
it’s 32 minutes in or any for forgive me but I hope that that this long monologue
made you feel better about where you are right now so let’s talk about four
really big spiritual challenges that we face one of our greatest spiritual
challenges is to not recoil to not run away or react to negative emotions when
they arrive in spiritual terms our goal is to stand in the light while dark
wolves negative emotions or a frightened ego or programming is nipping at our
heels so one of the greatest spiritual challenges that you will ever face
whether you come from a dysfunctional home or not
is standing in the light in spite of the dark okay so in darkness just isn’t on
the outside darkness is on the inside all of us are both light and dark all of
us are both fear and love all of us are both subconscious and conscious all of
us are both automatic and computer-like as much as we are spiritual and creative
right it’s just a fact and so we have to embrace the fact that we can be dark we
can be depressed and we can be happy and we can be joyful we can be reactive and
we can be mindful so one of the greatest spiritual challenges that you can face
is learning how to stand in the light in spite of being attacked by dark forces
now they can be other people or they can be internal dark forces old programming
very very difficult but the more aware you are of the challenge when you know
what you’re fighting right when you know what the goal is what the objective is
it’s so much easier so when the darkness comes find the light find the light the
Summa Mount gain your perspective right meditation walking appreciation
gratitude you know this morning while in meditation I was moved to put my hand on
my heart and with my eyes closed I just gave thanks for my heart and I said this
is you know this my breath connects me to the universe it connects me to
creator when I stop breathing I’ll be someplace else but while I’m in physical
form and I’m breathing my breath is connecting me to creator which is just
fabulous so it’s important that we understand the
how gratefulness can shift when we find something to be grateful for we’re
resonating with a different frequency the opposite of the darkness so dear
ones your spiritual challenge is to choose the light inspire the dark and
know that the dark can be on the outside but can also be on the inside another
great spiritual challenge is to see all experiences as lessons on our
opportunity to grow and learn that is really
difficult to do when faced with the with a diagnosis or when someone you have you
know that you love is passing away or has passed away so it’s very easy said
it’s not easily done so your spiritual challenge is to one of the great
experience will challenges to while animated in human form is to know that
every experience that I’m experiencing is an opportunity for me to grow and to
choose the light right Marianne Williamson talks about this idea that
you in every moment you can either choose love or you can choose fear and
you know like if you have someone in your experience we all know somebody who
consistently chooses fear you know no matter what you know maybe they’ll have
a good day or a good week or a good month but eventually they’re right back
down into the fear again you know and it’s hard for them to get out so it’s
important that we observe people that we know that tend to have this experience
where where they’re in fear they’re there for a very very long time now that
person’s is whether they realize or not these are all opportunities for this
person to learn like wow this is just an experience and in this experience I can
choose the light so maybe I don’t have the shoes that I want but I have shoes
that’s choosing the light maybe I don’t have the house that I want but I have a
room in my aunt’s house and I have a bed and I have a closet you know and I had I
have food in my belly I have that that’s choosing the light you know maybe I
don’t have the ideal partner yet but I have some friends that’s choosing the
light you know maybe you know I got this diagnosis but you know they say that
there’s hope that’s choosing the light maybe I don’t have a whole lot of money
in the bank account but I have enough to pay my car insurance
that’s choosing the light so basically that’s what Maryann Williamson’s
teachings are about we can choose the light over the darkness or love
versus fear but we can’t do it without understanding the ability we have to use
flow our consciousness which is my work hinges on the science behind being able
to control your focus because it’s a fact you can spiritual challenge the
spiritual challenge is for you to understand that these difficult things
are showing up now our experiences and opportunities for you to learn a little
bit more about yourself which is just awesome I think at the end of the day
it’s an opportunity to choose the light over the darkness and I will tell you as
someone who’s been on this journey consciously aware I was on the journey
we’re all in the journeys were just not conscious of it but as someone who’s
been conscious of the journey for a while now it is what it is
but to me the challenge is sometimes they get there so challenging like in
the beginning it’s like you know am I got a my gonna give this cashier back
the six the extra six bucks that she gave me am I gonna walk out with it it’s
not so hard to figure out okay this kid works for Target or she works for this
company she’s gonna have to account for the six bucks you know it’s not her
fault I don’t want to see the kid get in trouble and give the six bucks back you
know but you know we are called to really be challenged and to choose the
light so it’s normal to be faced with situations that are trumped by
situations like I just explained so you’re going to be challenged more and
more as you grow I think what happens is over time is that you make the decision
towards light quicker than you would have 10 and 15 or 20 years ago so so the
the length the length of time it takes you to to choose the light lessons okay
so but that is a great spiritual challenge that we face so the third
spiritual challenge I want to talk about is the challenge to honor yourself even
though you’ve been taught to ignore or fear
your emotions we can’t have a conversation about the self and about
honoring the self without having a conversation about the fact that so many
of us were taught to ignore how we feel we very much human being psychologically
there we go with the layers right so I’m a human self that’s one aspect of made a
personality self then I have a conscious self right of its higher self I have a
lower self of an in ego a super-ego lions and tigers and bears oh my
you know oh my lord whatever I’m cellular I’m chemical there’s a
whole bunch of crap going on so anyway we can’t have a conversation about the
self or a conversation about the spiritual challenge of honoring the self
unless we have a conference Mull short conversation about feelings right
how many abused adult children were taught that their feelings were
unimportant how many abused adult children were taught that their feelings
were irrelevant how many human beings were taught that mommy’s feelings were
more important than her feelings how many of us have experienced
triangulation and we were taught that one siblings feelings or experiences or
needs were more valid than another how many of us have been married to people
who could not see us and we’re not aware that they could not see us which is
maddening because we think we’re in a relationship with somebody who can see
us and it takes us 30 years to figure out that they don’t see us oh my god
it’s crazy it’s great it’s crazy but anyway a big spiritual challenge is
learning how to honor myself you know even though I’ve been taught to ignore
my feelings so the challenge is to accept and honor how you feel now that
people get caught up because they think that how I should I trust how I feel
well emotions don’t run in rational challenged channels and emotion is just
an indicator of where your where your focus is at the moment and what your
belief system what belief system is operating right so
if you think about Park reverse neutral and drive you know Park reverse neutral
and drive they define what’s gonna happen with the car so my feelings Park
reverse neutral and drive all they are is they’re representing the primary
belief system at the moment so my brother is somebody God helped me if
he’s on this webinar because I’ll never hear the end of it but if whatever
saying my brother is somebody who is one of my greatest triggers below the veil
of consciousness in my humble opinion and is very confrontational is very
argumentative is somebody who and I know why because he was so abused by
specifically my dad when he was younger and my mom too
my mom let the abuse happen and my mom was violent with him and he was
humiliated a lot as a little boy all that crap about boys don’t cry and
sissies don’t cry and or sissies cry blah blah um but he’s extremely hyper
vigilant and you could have a conversation with him and you can be all
about him but he is going to pick up on this idea that that you’re against him
for some reason so a little bit of paranoia you could have the best
intentions but my brother is an infected toe you know bumping up next to next to
people is frightening for him and I get why but that doesn’t mean that he
doesn’t have the ability to lash out so my point is should my brother just had
an argue with him the other day argument should my brother trust his feelings
when he’s accusing me of something I’m not guilty of the point that we have
what we have to learn to do on the healing path is to be non resistant to
what’s showing up so if I am being paranoid in a minute and I think that I
just heard someone talk about me but I have no evidence of that right but I
think they talked about me I have no
evidence I have to be non-resistant to how I feel stop judging myself I have to
let it come up I sit in my body right I’ve got to embrace the light be
non-resistant it’s okay it’s okay maybe they are talking about you maybe they
aren’t so I sued the ego it’s okay ego it’s okay it’s okay now the minute I
accept how I felt I’m in non-resistance and now what
happens is slowly I’m coming out of fight-or-flight and now I’m able to put
this experience into a much broader broader context right but initially
maybe my focus was really minimal that I had a flight a fight-or-flight reaction
totally cool that’s where the human brain is built that means that at that
moment in time the belief Park reverse neutral Drive that was running the ship
was I can’t trust anybody normal for an abused adult child to feel that way okay
I have to accept that in this moment I was little paranoid and I was low
reactive and the minute I accept that it’s like my brain comes out of neutral
or reverse goes into neutral putting things in context and now I can slowly
go into drive and then put all of this information into context so it sounds
like you know well I thought I heard my name mentioned but it turns out there
are three Lisa’s in the office and they could have been talking about anybody
suddenly I’m starting to my alarm systems are going down right because I’m
putting things into context so that’s I’m trying to say you know should you
trust the feelings except is a better word except how you feel get out of get
out of reverse get into neutral put everything into context and try to get
your mind into Drive right because when you’re an abused adult child your fight
or flight system is like from A to B jump when in reality what we have the
ability to go a b c d e f g h i j k it’s sort of the difference between going
from 0 to 100 and telling when people tell you to count to 10 when you’re
counting to 10 you’re coming at a fight-or-flight
at a reverse moving it to neutral slowing your system down so that your
brain can process this external stimuli remember you’re a quantum being you’re
tapped into this field right you’re you’re quantumly entangled with people
who you share office space with or family with right and so you’re picking
up on their stuff so when people ask me you know Lisa should I trust my feelings
I always say accept your feelings and trust that they’re valid based on what
gear you’re in but that doesn’t mean that the first feeling that shows up is
something that you should react to you should always always be non resistant to
how you feel never react to how you feel and trust me
every time I reacted to how I felt it was not good it was not good
every time I calmed down got my brain out of fight-or-flight you know I’m no
different than you happens to me too but I can tell you that every time I my ears
will got on fire and every time I reacted my heart’s beating out of my
chest you know I said I opened my mouth or I flew it you know I wrote an email
it was not good it’s not good so we want to try to slow things down so honoring
yourself in spite of what you’ve experienced is a spiritual challenge
because you have to talk about feelings and when we talk about feelings all of
our stuff comes up our unworthiness am i enough stuff comes up right all of our
codependent stuff or attachment trauma our fear of being vulnerable comes up
you know that’s you know it’s one thing codependence we don’t talk enough about
that but one of the reasons I think that co-dependents are comfortable giving is
because you know that we keep the focus on the other person and then we don’t
have to open up a net and tell people what we think so it’s a way that we’re
recording ourselves and that’s it’s a way that we prevent ourselves from
actually being vulnerable it’s important to think about that I do not suggest you
be vulnerable with people that you know you can’t trust first be vulnerable with
the self be honest with this Journal about the self you know journal
about the past be journal journal about your flaws right because everybody’s got
him everybody’s got them nothing to be ashamed of we’re all here to learn so
the last challenge I want to talk about is learning to be president and not
react to the words of others as well as to be present with the little voice
inside your head and when I was writing out these spiritual challenges I was
like oh is that like number one because number one is are great in my opinion
one of our greatest spiritual challenges is to not recoil or to run away so that
to me input that speaks to almost like an action or an inaction don’t do that
like a spiritual challenges do not act or recoil when some dark energy shows up
in my head or externally right but there’s something much deeper and
something much more spiritually meaningful and that is to milk the
ability to be present in my skin with the darkness that’s really cool
that’s like you’re it man that’s like I got it you know like that’s something to
shoot for like you know when my mom was was dying you know Here I am four hours
away and there was so much I was there was I could feel like these wild horses
inside of me like like I wanted to get in there and fix things and you know
talk to the nurses and and you know wring the neck of my father and you know
I wanted to get in there and control everything and make make things work you
know but but I couldn’t I couldn’t I wasn’t in control you know I lived four
or five hours away you know my sister my father had complete control they wanted
me to stay out of it and and I knew that I I was up against uh you know I was up
against you know people and things that I was
not gonna win I just wasn’t gonna win right so what am I gonna do don’t would
you continue to throw yourself up against the wall if you knew you
couldn’t move the wall no real conscious rational person will say no that’s a
wall and why should I even bother but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to
struggle with wanting to move that wall you’re still going to struggle and so
learning to be losing my mom the way we lost my mom and so
much that I couldn’t control they represented like these dark energies
that were coming up my my powerlessness you know the little girl inside of me
that was losing my mom I was never now I know I’m never gonna be able to get that
bond with her that I really wanted you know like confronting that you know
she’s not gonna get better from the dementia she’s really gonna die like are
you kidding me like she was she tried so hard to be a good person her whole life
and like this is the way she’s going out like and there’s nothing that I can do
about it and just watching this situation just divide evolve you know
it’s just get worse and worse every day and having to watch it happen a lot of
stuff showed up for me a lot of darkness showed up for me but I remember being
spiritually conscious and physically conscious and quantumly conscious of my
physiology like I knew things were happening and I just sat with all of
these fears and I just sat with all of this loss you know um and I embraced it
I acknowledge that everything I felt was normal and so the word fear isn’t a
four-letter word anymore for me you know it’s like just fear and fear is normal
you know these represent normal human experiences and so fear used to be the
other F word for me but it’s not anymore it’s like okay I get it so fear it’s
sort of like the guy when I think about fear I think of the three-year-old in me
so don’t allow fear to be the other four-letter word for you understand fear
is normal and it’s just it’s representing something very somatic and
very visceral and very tender and very authentic inside of you so I hope that
that helps you and learning to be present with that fear is definitely a
very big spiritual challenge so the key idea is I’m hoping that you guys take
away our number one when we are uncomfortable it means we are on the
verge of learning something new right hard to like you know when we start
being uncomfortable it’s like damn I just got comfortable and I got to learn
something new like you know like ha you kidding me
but it’s important if we zoom out I’m a little uncomfortable okay what’s
happening I’m on the verge of learning something new you know it means that
we’re going to be letting something go and I think the healthiest and happiest
people are people who are living on attached life so they attached to
nothing they know everything is transient even themselves they love
everything they experience everything but there’s this appreciation that I
know at any point in time you can be taken from me you know our children for
instance are on loan to us our body is on loan to us and I’m 53 I’ll be 54 this
year gray hair sagging skin whatever a couple of weight pounds on menopause hot
flashes lions and tigers and bears on light whatever you know the reality is
my body is on loan to me and my friends are on loan to me my dogs are on loan to
me they’re a gift my husband is on loan to me everything’s temporary and so when
I when I accept that everything’s temporary and I live an honest life I am
so much more present and so much more loving and so much more apt to let go of
crap that doesn’t matter anyway right I don’t you know sure normal things
aggravate me when you know the towel is on the floor or somebody takes out the
garbage and doesn’t put a plastic bag back into the pail what’s up with that
you know you go through the trouble to take the garbage out is it so hard to
put a garbage bag back in the pail now I’m throwing garbage in the garbage with
no pail okay human stuff right okay human stuff irritating it happens right
but am I gonna cling to that if every time I look at my husband or I look at
myself or I look at my kids and I know they’re temporary and they’re on loan to
me no because that thought keeps be present so when we’re uncomfortable
we’re in the verge of learning something they are on the verge of letting
something go and being more non-attached which means it would be more present so
and we are becoming stronger in spite of is making us uncomfortable so three key
ideas are that when we are spiritually uncomfortable we’re on the verge of
learning something new we’re in the verge of letting something go and become
more known in etosha more present and we are becoming stronger in spite of this
thing that’s making us uncomfortable so you’re actually going to grow beyond
whatever that experience is so the other key idea I want you to understand is
that life is supposed to challenge us so people who don’t embrace the challenge
think about somebody who not their fault but grew up and their father was a
criminal and they grew up hearing like life is hard and life sucks and people
are always out to get you and only rich people get rich and poor people like us
never get rich that’s why you got to get out there and you’ve got to rob people
and you got to do this because this this child doesn’t know that he or she is a
creator this child isn’t even going to try to study in school because what’s
the point this child isn’t even gonna try to flow love what’s the point you
know this child is gonna do what it has been programmed to do so let’s say this
child ends up in a gang this child’s program programming right what’s the
point why should I even tries now I’m in a gang so I robbed a car okay is this
trial learn no this child gets back out in the streets and does something else
okay plans up and ends up in jail again all
of these challenges right are meant for this child or this person to overcome
them and to make a different choice so those of us on who are on the
Enlightenment path or who are embracing spirituality and conscious evolution and
we want to control our minds and we’re on we’re interested in personal
development roberto blah blah blah we we should consider this idea that
challenges are supposed to help us make a different choice and people who don’t
make different choices or my uncle was married six times did this man learn did
he learn from the first divorce no no you know so know that every challenge
that we have is supposed to hell teach us to make a different choice it’s
supposed to help us grow right people who don’t learn they just keep repeating
the patterns now there isn’t some big universal conspiracy out there that’s
just the quantum nature of the universe because life is a hologram until you
change the hologram by changing the paradigm by changing your thoughts which
is not easy there are the third thing that a key idea is I love this phrase
life is not about waiting for storms to pass life is about learning to dance in
the rain this is a version of you know when you get stuck with lemons make
lemonade same thing and so so many people wait for the right job to come
along when they wait for the right relationship and they’re miserable
waiting no that’s not what you should be doing what you should be doing is while
you’re waiting enjoy your life get out there garden volunteer get a massage
love yourself you know buy yourself some great beautiful sexy underwear bras
t-shirts whatever if you’re a man get yourself some new boxers and nice silk
socks whatever silk tie get out there don’t wait for something to happen in
the while weeding create a vibrancy in your life so its life is not about
waiting for the storms to pass no life is about learning to dance in the rain
the fourth key idea all human beings are flawed so and they make mistakes I don’t
know anybody who hasn’t lied exaggerated hurt someone else’s feelings
intentionally or unintentionally I don’t know anybody who hasn’t interrupted
somebody while they were talking I don’t know anybody that does not pull their
pants down to go to the bathroom I think everybody uses toilet paper I’m just
saying you know give me a break you know nobody is above you and no one’s below
you I don’t care what their title is or how many letters come after their name
nobody is better than you nobody is more valuable than you you know if you think
about think about if you believe in a creator think about creator does creator
think that you know Obama or Oprah or the Queen of England
is any more valuable than you no no all of these people had different things
happen and different support systems and different realities and that’s there
that’s they made the best of what they had but in terms of worthiness no such
thing um if you look at someone who is in jail and who has consistently made
the same mistakes over and over and over that person isn’t any more unworthy or
worthy than anybody else this is somebody who is the product of
programming might know the difference between right or wrong but doesn’t know
doesn’t have any beliefs to support why they should do differently right I’m not
condoning bad behavior at all just explaining why people do bad things and
so until an awareness is born an understanding of self and a new paradigm
is we’ve woven together then only the old paradigm can continue to evolve in
someone’s life but we’ve all we’ve all fallen okay we’ve all screwed up and
that’s okay that’s okay everything that’s happened to us is for our greater
good if you’ll if you’ve learned from whatever you’ve done that’s all it then
that’s why you had that experience so no shame the last the last key idea is that
higher self is ready when you are and most people don’t wake up until they
have to and that’s okay and consciousness beat can be expanded which
is awesome so most people don’t change until they have two minds don’t change
until they have to until very often times until they’re there they’re sort
of forced with an ultimatum like it’s too painful here like and everything
that I’ve done in the past just doesn’t work and there’s this aha moment you
know and I decide to do something differently so I hope that you
appreciate those key ideas I’m going to see if I am able to I hope I can find
out if anybody has any questions and I’m looking for that
feature let’s see if I can get the attendees list if I can get the list I’m
gonna see if I can if I can’t you know sometimes I have it’s it’s not always
the same let’s see what I’m gonna do is I’m going to I have some questions here
and I’m gonna read them out loud and let me see if I can get a couple of you have
your hands raised so Laura I’m going to unmute you and hopefully you can hear me
hi miss Lu miss Laura can you hear me Laura yes how are you I’m doing well
thank you thank you for being here I really am enjoyed getting to know you
and your talks have helped me tremendously and I just want to say I
appreciate you I my journey has been a little bit different than yours so the
pain as is the same I believe but nonetheless you have helped me so much
nice ones you know though thank you I appreciate that thank you so much you
know it’s all about you know sometimes people can feel like oh I’m only one
person you know like what can I do but one person can do a lot you know just
smiling at somebody or just sharing a story and letting someone know you’re
not alone it’s so beneficial and it speaks to our tribal instinct to feel
seen and so if you feel seeing Laura and you feel you know like somebody
understands your pain and that makes you feel not so crazy and not so alone not
so different I’m then everything that I’ve done is worth it so I’m happy about
that thank you no thank you thank you so much so Susie I’m gonna see
if I can unmute you Susie Q hi Susie I can hear me I can and
I have a question for you you mentioned something about menopause and the hot
flashes and I noticed that I do get more hot flashes with the fight-or-flight
feeling absolutely yeah how do you have any suggestions because I do need to
find a new career and I was self-employed a long time ago but it’s
been you know I know that I can do it it’s just that now that I have hot
flashes and then I’m managing the fight-or-flight and so I’m trying to
combine all of those things and would you recommend getting ahold of the hot
flashes first so that you can manage the hydra flight or would you say the fire
flight kind of anxiety would be first and then III I think you have to start
with the self you know because you know you have to you have to start with
what’s triggering you you have to find out you know most of my triggers are
well triggers are related to past experiences that have been downloaded
right and so one of my triggers is you know my mom was very condescending and
she was accusatory and she was she would persecute me right and I didn’t really
understand her anger and her rage out it on out on me but when I was little you
know it it made me feel even I just everything in my body just contracted
just talking about it it goes back to somatic experience is a memory of how I
lived around with this woman and so that we have to understand that that
experience and those experiences have been downloaded into our bodies and so
that’s outside our conscious awareness right so today more so with women than
men I can handle it a lot more with men but when I feel like a woman is
persecuting me or is antagonizing me I was just walking my dog the other day of
big dog and she was barking at this little dog and this woman is walking
past my house like cursing under her breath about my dog and I was like
saying to myself I could feel myself wanting to go you know and I had to talk
myself down like it’s okay it’s okay you know alice is a big dog she’s got a
little dog if she was walking Alice she’d know what it feels like to have a
big dog because when little dogs are yapping
they’re easy to control a big dog is yapping is not so easy to control anyway
but my point is that I could feel my I could feel on my triggers happening
right and I just stayed there with Alice and I talked myself down from it but
that took it sounds so easy now right but that took time for me to like
recognize like when I’m being any but when a female is being is being
confrontational for no reason and it’s silly its irrational you know my ego
kicks in and a lot of this old stuff front with my mom
begins to get stirred up it’s normal but it took me a while to identify that that
was a somatic download and a psychological trigger and then it once I
acknowledge it was like okay then I had to develop respect for how my body
operated it’s not my brains fault that this has been hardwired it’s not and so
I had to learn to observe my my ears get hot my heart beats fast
my head gets like it’s burning and this is all this is this these are all signs
that I’ve been triggered right right but I can tell you that when I’m emotional
that for whatever reason you know I don’t know if it’s well you know what it
makes sense hot flashes are triggered by sugar and so just figured it out so when
you are in fight-or-flight the end result is cortisol which triggers
glucose being dumped into your system it’s so that makes sense now so if we’re
triggered and then the end result from the adrenals is this release of sugar
because your body wants is preparing for fight-or-flight to run and your muscles
need glucose to contract and so if the end result of a fighter
flight fight or flight attack is sugar it makes sense that that would trigger a
hot flash Wow so thank you for helping you figured it
out – yeah no that’s interesting they were saying that the hot flashes that
you know like your main meals you should only have 17 grams of sugar max and then
your snacks only eight or nine and I didn’t realize it because there was a
cortisol glucose component I have no idea so you need to read out huh that’s
a lot yeah and so so I think that you know again it goes so many of this very
simple practices that I that I teach you know being non resistant you know my
husband always says he’s like oh man he goes you handle your hot flashes so well
because I’m non resistant to them you know my mother was very resistant hot
flashes and she was miserable you know and she would feel a hot flash coming
and she could see she was pissed you know and she was angry and which only
made it worse if you think about fight or flight
so being peaceful about having this hot flash calm is actually going to minimize
the length that you spend in that uncomfortable feeling okay thank you
yeah for me it’s a million embarrassment of course who is it we should not be
humiliated and embarrassed but eventually the more you heal yourself
and you know for me what I loving myself and having self-confidence and healing
the programs you know I began to realize that you know once you love yourself
nobody can humiliate you nobody nobody once you know that this person is
projecting and this is dominant behavior and you characterized somebody who
wishes to humiliate as the problem and not you the humiliation is not the
problem the person was trying to humiliate you
is the problem so when you you’re welcome
and so you know but just continue to do your personal work my class I have a
class launching in February check it out you know and just you know work on
loving yourself thank you by right so I’m looking for somebody
else see if anybody else has the hand raised if not I’ll go to the written
questions and we’ll see what’s going on hi Mike hi Kim hi page okay so I’m gonna
go to the questions let’s see oh hi Edith is on the line
today hi leadeth let’s see let’s see so Stephanie hi Stephanie Stephanie just
said hi Lisa I’m so sorry about Tori yes losing pets for some reason is really
hard it really triggers my anxiety my heart is with you on this here is my
question as you know my mom died last year and I’d always spent all holidays
with her this year more than last I’m experienced feelings of isolation and
related self-pity I have two questions my mind tells me the way to feel better
is to stop focusing on myself and go help someone else like go to a soup
kitchen or something but then I wonder if that is codependent and if I would be
better served by sitting with the feelings and dealing with them what do
you think let me answer the question before I go on to the second question so
it’s a it’s a process Stephanie right so remember the goal the goal is
non-resistance and the goal is a sense of relief right so remember if when
we’re when when you’re somebody and I know your story right you know I know
your story so you when you’re someone who’s experienced what you’ve
experienced to go from being low to happy is just not there’s not the goal
so to go from being constricted like we learned in the master class to non
constriction to constricted to relief that’s what that’s the goal Stephanie so
we want to embrace what is first of all the first right after you lose your mom
just lost my mom this year right off to lose your mom you’re in a state of flux
like everything’s changed especially when you’re her caretaker and she’s such
a big part of your life your whole your whole mindsets got to change like
suddenly this person that used to fill up your day
with texts or phone calls doctor’s appointments they’re just not there
right so the mind is like what are we doing right and it’s trying to figure
out a new pattern so you’re in a weird neurological vibrational emotional place
a great place even though it may have been dysfunctional it’s still a loss so
that happens like the first six months to a year and then the second year I’ve
heard people say like this is the year I really missed my mom well yeah because
you know now that all that shock has has you know kind of like weaned away now
you’re dealing with this sense of loss and this wow she’s really gone like that
feeling and so the more ritualistic our life becomes which our life is supposed
to have patterns in our life you know help hopefully healthy patterns but the
more we get into routine then I think the more we’re aware of the fact that
this thing that we used to do is no longer here
right so it’s normal I think that you would feel the loss of your mom so it’s
really important Stephanie I know we’ve talked about this in the past but it’s
really important that abuse adult daughters understand it doesn’t matter
if mom was dysfunctional right and sons – it doesn’t matter if mom was
dysfunctional and we and we lose her you know um it may and because what I mean
is that what I’m trying to say is that it hurts sometimes I don’t like to put
like say more someone’s pain is more but I’m trying to say is that it could be
more painful for an abused child to lose a parent
it could be feel more desperate and more you can feel more despondent when losing
a child and you’ve never had that parent-child bond then it is for a child
who who has had that bond and now they’re releasing their parent into the
ethers hey listen I had it you know it’s time for to go she was getting old I’m
getting old there’s sort of this like logical type of just acceptance right
because you got what you were supposed get but when you’re that adult child who
never received that connection to mom the loss is profound and so I’ve heard
people say I shouldn’t want I shouldn’t mourn her because she was so
terrible no maybe that’s what your logical mind says but emotionally that’s
just not true because in terms of psychosocial
development we are designed to gain that a that bond with their parents and we I
think we repeat the patterns until unconsciously and neurotically because
there’s we’re driven to gain that bond and we don’t know why now I married my
mother now my best friend’s a narcissist and how did this happen and bla bla bla
you know because we don’t realize that life is holographic and we’re built to
like gain this validation from this person and suddenly they’re gone
so I would say understand that the growth the despondency and the
powerlessness is very normal in terms of what you should do now the first thing
to do is you accept it you go non-resistance to it so you Stephanie
higher-self Stephanie embraces three-year-old Stephanie and says I get
it she’s gone and in this physical world you’re never going to get that bond but
I’m here now I represent the mother you never had so
higher-self Stephanie is embracing lower self Stephanie and that will help with
your integration what you do at that point is if you can get into a state of
non-resistance with that and like I said earlier you have to do something during
the holidays that is going to make you feel joyful I personally don’t think
there’s anything wrong with a going on resistance to how I feel and then be
booking a beach holiday or working in a soup kitchen as as long as I know that
I’m doing it from a state of non-attachment and because it makes me
feel good right and when you leave the soup kitchen and the holidays are over
thank freakin God right we all go back to being normal you know and have our
routine again and not feel bad for not having family once we’re done with the
soup kitchen we should still be able to maintain a state of non-resistance so
that’s how it answer the question are there any particular meditations or
exercise for this kind of self-pity the other thing I want to say Stephanie is
that I hear some self condemnation I don’t like the term self-pity because it
so many have used that term against other people to make them feel bad like
they say I’m playing the victim we’re not playing the victim right I was
a victim and now I feel like a victim and now I’m acting like a victim there’s
no playing there’s no plane I didn’t make this shit up so I was victimized I
am feeling like a victim and I am feeling powerless and I am acting out
what happened to me okay but I’m not acting like I’m making this up like my
mom used to call me Sara burn I even know who sal Bernhardt was she was oh
you should be in a cat all you practiced for the Academy Awards what the hell are
the Academy Awards but she was mocking me always mocking me and so I don’t like
the term self-pity I think um because I feel like you’re judging yourself so
maybe if you you like I said earlier you have to embrace this loneliness because
you did not you are a daughter who unfortunately never received the bond
that you deserve from your parents that sucks and that’s not fair and a lot of
time was lost you know and you filled your life up with careers and animals to
make up for what was lost you know good for you that’s a testament to the will
you’re a brilliant brilliant woman you’ve done amazing things with your
life you’re incredibly incredibly intelligent and capable and beautiful I
might add just saying it helps but my point is that you know it’s not your
fault any of this happen and you took care of yourself and you took care of
your mom and you’re quite capable and now it’s time for you to accept that
this sucked and this happened and embrace your feelings and blade embrace
your experience that the child in you that is
feeling these feelings you know none of us would look at you know like think a
lot of you guys know that um I had a I had two two young women in my life died
and they both left behind a three-year-old and an eight-year-old and
amazing amazing experience right and nobody who looked at these
three-year-olds and these eight-year-olds and said they had
self-pity because they were crying because the mothers had just passed away
so so try to see you try to see the part of you that is feeling sorry or a loss
understand that that’s the inner child in you and embrace her and I’m so I hope
this helps yes meditation my divine mother imitate meditation is pretty good
for this I would say you know revisit the 12 we breakthrough coaching program
you know and see if that helps and then eventually you know maybe move in back
into the master class because that’ll help you raise your vibrations because
what we want to do is we want to help you accept what is and then slowly and
incrementally give you back the power but against definitely this is just all
about practice right I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t practice every day I am
aware that I have programs I am aware that I have triggers I am aware that I
have these experiences I’m aware that I can be reactive I’m aware that I can go
down the rabbit hole at any time I am surrounded by books and notebooks and
journals and crystals and prayer books and I keep myself on the path it gets
easier with practice so I hope that this helps you so if I can I’ll answer one
more question and we’ll let it go um let’s see I think this is from Lisa I’m
finally starting to zoom back on repeating rabbit hole I see others happy
family in a home with the white picket fence and I’m immediately triggered into
a rabbit hole of being a victim of circumstances my parents divorced in the
night in the 70s and now my own divorce my house is a child and now as an adult
aren’t good enough for me to be proud of so I avoid having people come over and
when they do I have massive ignite II I’ve journaled and see zoom back and
this is a karmic journey must heal whoever I’m stuck here help how do I get
to a point that’s beyond this thank you so Lisa I love you so much but this is a
little codependent right in this thought process is your desire to seek
validation and worthiness from outside of you so it’s just a mirror for
codependency and like you know you’ve taken the program you know that
codependency is like a house of mirrors so when we are seek when when I went
through something similar with my house and I just talked about this yesterday
because my kids are looking for a house is now amazing they’re growing up so
fast and I remember when I when I bought my first house after the divorce I mean
it was rotting the porch was rotted the windows were rotted and I had a man that
I was dating come over he’s like you happy here I was like yep I mean I
literally had like two by fours and and and plywood over my two windows that I
closed up I had a hole in my ceiling with BX cables I really was happy
because I I was learning to spend my life as the eye in the sky is the Eagle
as the observer of my reality and so I thought that what I had done was pretty
amazing you know I had I broke a pattern which was codependency
my mother stayed in a marriage that made her terribly unhappy and never found the
strength to get out right I found the strength to get out and I could look at
my kids and I knew that I was now teaching them the tools to love
themselves and to get out right so that was the zoomed out version the the macro
version was oh my god I don’t know how I’m gonna make enough money to put three
kids through school I don’t know how I’m gonna pay these bills that was the macro
oh my god you know my porch is rotted what are people going to thank old
codependency when I understood that me being worried about what other people
thought about my house was an aspect or a facet of codependency it was like I
just have to let people think what they think and anybody that walks into my
house then judges may is not want someone that I want to revisit
anyway right so you know see if see if that helps you see if see where the
codependency is showing up what a codependent person worry about this what
a codependent person feel not good enough what a codependent person be so
not present with her guests because in her head she’s worried about what people
think right that she has so much anxiety no no a non codependent person is like
hey I’m good you know yeah there’s laundry on the floor well I haven’t
gotten it I haven’t gotten to do all the kids laundry yet but I’m getting to it
let me pick it up put it in the basement what some iced tea you know we don’t we
don’t like people who have have successfully healed self-esteem and a no
longer codependent they’re not fixated and put this way they might notice an
old pattern like oh not good enough and I’m afraid to have people because I’m
worried about what they think but the minute they recognize it as a
codependent thought they pull back and they clarify it and they rectify it so I
would say at least a practice you know just loving yourself and knowing that
you broke patterns and that’s what you’re here to do stay on the conscious
and deliberate path mold your consciousness seek out the weeds in your
garden seek those codependent mother effers out and onion and weed them out
and if you feel if you notice that you’re seeking validation or you’re
afraid of not gaining validation do what you can to correct that thought invite a
safe person over first and then do what you can to stay on that path so I hope
this webinar has helped you guys feel not so alone you will get a recording of
it in a follow-up email and you will be able to watch it whenever you like and
so just know that this season we have two webinars running that you can watch
whenever you like and I think it’s important you know that you do that
meditate this season get out ahead of it wake up every day and decide what your
season is going to look like know that the universe doesn’t judge anyway
people say oh what’s the universe trying to teach me nothing the universe is just
lining you up with what you’re experiencing or what you’re feeling
people have issues with that I get that we’re not responsible from what someone
else draws into their experience and it’s important that we recognize that we
have to interface with lots of different personalities that are lining up with
lots of different vibrations all we can do is focus on our own vibrations and
the more you practice consciously deliberately flowing your focus the more
control you have over your emotions which is awesome so I hope this webinar
makes you feel loved I hope it makes you feel appreciated and I hope it helps you
appreciate the value of staying staying aware just a little bit you got I’m
running my next 12 we class in February of 2019 the next master class launches
in March very very exciting members of the 12-week breakthrough
graduates classes we will be having a holiday meet up in November sometime
from November to December near I believe either JFK or LaGuardia Airport in a
hotel it’ll probably be an overnight event and you guys are welcome to stay
as long as you want but I will be presenting and we’ll have
like a nice holiday dinner together something to look forward to in 2020 we
should be having a breakthrough cruise through the Virgin Islands and I am in
the process of pulling together a UK event for October of 2019 I do have a
monthly membership program available the break through warrior membership I do
monthly live streams live coaching calls that’s what they are in in the group and
you have access to law of attraction information to my loving the self
program an audio program that I sell independently it’s well part audio
program it’s great for couples a twelve part video program about codependency
programs about narcissism and so that is a monthly membership and
you can cancel at any time you also get a copy of the road back to me so a lot
is available for you guys also please take advantage you guys can go to
audible.com and download one of my books for free and you can send it to whoever
you want but you have to sign up for their free trial so a lot going on and
I’m also in the midst of having the road back to me translated into Spanish which
is really exciting and we are in production for my first children’s book
so that’s exciting so a lot a lot going on we are we are all souls and we’re all
here to evolve and I am honored to be a part of your souls evolution to any
degree so thank you dear ones for joining me today and know that you are
loved namaste has about to love in a life that
is absolutely in you you are enough you always have been you just didn’t know it
now must everybody bye for now

Hang on…you said personality is not us..ok, than why can they not cure a personality disorder…your personality is part of you..I’m confused 🤷🏼‍♀️

you have helped me so very very much. I'm about four months into this and I watch you daily scarfing up every video I can find. thank you for saving Souls! Merry Christmas to you and your family Lisa, namaste.

is there any chance that you may know some specifics about how ghastly and sad it is to have children in their forties and have to face what you had been running from for decades. they don't care and they treat me very very poorly. I could face the other ones that one nearly took me out. I probably am not the only one out there suffering like this although I very much thought I was.

I’m never okay. I grew up not believing in Christmas or celebrating it or Easter and even birthdays. Although it helped me to grow and search out other religions, which I realized that religion is bullshit. I’m very happy with that, knowing I have a one on one relationship with the divine! I work on cleaning on my inner child, and to erase the data and memories that only the divine can do

I send you love and light, and may you have the peace of the I Am, and send you angels to give you peace every day of your life.😇

#spiritual #challenges #codependency #narcissistic #parents #depression #holidays #anxiety #winterblues

Sorry for your loss of your dog..I knew about your Mom..I lost both my parents within 4 months of each other 6 years ago and I don’t want to imagine losing my dog..🥺.

yes it is realy hard to heal from childhoud abuse, but my spirit is strong! and i will never give up to heal! thanks dear Lisa!

Thank you Lisa for your insight. How do you deal with someone in your family who doesn't show up for family events and sends subliminal messages through gifts to your children? I have been challenged to just show up for future family functions and taking the high road.

I totally agree about the humiliation you spoke about. It is a way for them to project their own insecurities and discomfort or disdain. It is not the reality from which they box you in from. Nonresistence is key. Letting go of that which tries to protect the ego. When we depersonalize it, it becomes less and less powerful.

Thanks so much Lisa. I hosted a company party Friday. It was a tremendous success. I poured my heart into it for a month and hired an Elvis as a surprise. Now, the party is over and i am crashing. Im getting flashbacks of the narc discards because the house feels so empty. Your video helped me so much. Truly, this is both a happy and sad time of year. May God help anyone who is having a hard time.

Thank you for helping me putting the holidays into perspective. I'm the cast out of a family of 7 kids – I keep reminding I'm strong but it has been tough! Really appreciate the boost! 💜

My heart is sad for your loss of Tori. I remember writing to you last year when I was going through my dogs illness and I lost my heart dog a year ago almost to this day, and lost two more within a few months. You wrote to me this, and I kept it, and I would like to share it back to you in your time of loss.
You wrote "For me, I accept how deeply I love my pets, and I also except that they too, like all living things will pass. In the now, I focus on loving them and being loving to them. I accept the circle of life and do what I can to stay non resistant to what I cannot control. A sudden passing, I could never control, no matter how much I would like to. Keeping focused on going non-resistant and staying in the state of flow and love gets me through. Besides, I totally believe our animals are waiting for us on the other side anyway. There is no such thing as death, there is only transition" 💗🐾🌹

Thanks. Love your shirt.
I have so many comments that i decided to remain silent.
I really should write a book and do something with my 20 journals. I should put them together into a book.

The hard part is having to write about that pain.

You are Amazing Lisa ♥️🙏🏼 This is my first Holiday season no contact with my mom so I’m really going through the Holiday blues being away from my home, I used to live with her. It’s time to heal ♥️ Thank you for the valuable work you do Lisa ♥️🎄

Thank you so very much. I was falling apart at the seams and your words mean that I am prepared for Christmas without my family. I will be safe, grateful and composed this year, and you Lisa have made me feel loved and brave. xx

Oh sweety my heart goes out to you on the loss of your doggie and Mother❤️❤️😞💔acceptance is a great key to healing for sure. Practice, practice and more practice❤️😘👍🏻

This year my husband and I are going on vacation in a bit, so for the Holidays, I've already told everyone I'd be hibernating. It,s tough enough with a burnout and anxiety, but I always get sick this time of year with everything going on. At first I was afraid I would be judged or deemed selfish for respecting my body, but my mom said she'd skip the Polish celebration, since she's tired too, and my sister's going to do just a small thing so we can see my dad, and my husband's family won't have to cook safe for my allergies, and everyone is fine with it. I just needed to assert myself and I'm going to take it easy. It feels good, ti's strange though, my body thinks it needs to stress, so when I start having symptoms of cold or flu, I reassure it and I'm fine again.

Random Question – what are your thoughts on Ayahuasca/ayahuasca retreats? I've read that ayahuasca acts as a "mirror", showing a person their wound/shadow self, so they can become conscious of what they need to heal.

Lisa this was so helpful. Could you possibly do a video on this idea that people being nice to us triggers the fight or flight response? This really rang true for me especially when dating. Thank you!

Hello all. I am saving this for xmas! I wanted to share a story and a warning to all. This really happened to me. It's scary, but must be told. Two years ago I went riding on my dirtbike. I was at the closed and gated ski lodge. Washington state here. End of summer. This place is locked and gated. You can only access from top of mountain. I was riding the ski runs and stopped for a cig. I happened to look down where I was standing. There were four footprints in the dry powdery dirt. They were about four inches long and I could clearly see the little toes. They came from nowhere and went nowhere. Disappeared. What is a small child doing barefoot on this closed for the season lodge? A closed mountain. And how do little footprints come from nowhere and go nowhere? I believe these were tracks from a child abduction. Something sat that child down on that mountain and carried it away! I thought I imagined it. It made no sense until recently. I did see those footprints. Something is abducting our children and carrying them away. No sign of struggle. I want people to know the truth. It's not safe in those mountains. I seen it myself. What confused me the most, was they we're alone tracks. And disappeared! Be safe everyone. I only want your safety and for you to know the truth. Abduction! Beware. Fyi. A gated and closed ski lodge, the perfect hideout! Beware.

I'm floating. My Narc abusive father died in 2014, I had to contest the will as true to nature he gave it away to a niece I don't even know. She got a lot. But now with the ability to have my own place, I have been living from a suitcase for 2 years. I cant decide where to buy a place and thus have been subject to other narcissistic landladys and landlords and I am in a frightening place being abused again.

I escaped narc abuse from a family member when I was extremely suicidal. I LOVE being Alone now. I do get depressed and lonely missing certain people and past, but anymore I find being alone so much easier. I've had multiple traumas shocked I'm still here. OMG!!! So sorry, but I feel the same about pets. Lost one after 17 yrs and was more upset than almost some family.

Thank you so much for this video! I needed this. And you explained the law of attraction very good. I got it a bit more, of thank makes sense. ❤️🎄

Thank you Lisa. Your loving guidance is a reminder that we, who suffered through various levels of abuse, are not alone or crazy. Namaste and Merry Christmas.

I lost my mom and my cat this year. By far I cry more over my cat bc he was there for me. He loved me. I hear you Lisa he was my baby.. God I miss him

I'm so sorry about your losses. They say our beloved animals can come back to be with us again, not necessarily with the same look but their soul eventually will meet with us soon in this existence.

Thank you very much for speaking truth. There is a new and higher life for everyone that if we embrace that fact. We will soon smell it before it will arrive. That is the Light I believe and embrace.

Hope the Love and Light is growing within us to spread the good news.. We are enough.. LOvE the MeSSage. Off to burn Sage and white candles down bath water warm and music is bliss..

Thank you for your wisdom and all the work you do. I have to have both my hips replaced and my garden is a mess. I live in a fairly middle class niebourhood and people have pretty immaculate gardens and I have paid gardeners and will be getting help in 2 weeks. But I. Was obsessed with what the neighbours think. Thank. For making me aware that it doesn't matter what people think. In general I. don't care what people think. So thanks for that insight. I can stop. worrying about it. I have followed for the past 3 years but was unable to comment because I. was unable to. I live in. Perth West Australia. Happy New year and God bless. Nameste.

you are more than enough, you are exactly what souls with the holiday blues need to hear.
Lisa you really do excel at what you do. I am GRATEFUL Thank you, keep up the outstanding work God Bless you….Peace Love & Light

I find it hard to live a non-attached life. It makes me feel like I am like my non attached ex husband and non attached mother. They were so non-attached that I chased after attachment to them. Help me to understand.

Oh, I can relate. When my dog died at 16 it was soooo sad because she went through my domestic abuse situation with my sons and myself and the divorce and the growing up of my kids ….. I still miss her 😢

I feel so proud that I was recently able to stay neutral to my sister, who is just like your brother Lisa. Everyday for the last 8 months I've been telling myself that I do not need to prove to my family that their accusations are false, or that I am actually a "good person." I always knew the answer was so close but 'wow' this was so hard work through. Since understanding most false accusations by my family are completely fabricated and triangulated with only each other's gossip as any kind of evidence, it's been easy to tell them I'd like to hear and understand their perspective. crickets If they can't give even one example of what they think is "wrong" with me , even better yet. This way I get the opportunity to tell the I'd like to change but I don't have anything to change without even one example. This leaves the ball in their court and I get the satisfaction of finally realizing, in action, it's not my job to prove the lies of others wrong.

You’re work has really changed my life Lisa. When I have enough money saved up I’m totally enrolling in one of your classes. And by the way, you look younger & more vibrant than plenty of 20-40 year olds I know that exercise a lot & wear a lot of fancy trinkets but yet are very mean & unkind 😄.

Although I value much of what you say, I think your message would be more useful if you would lessen the metaphors and pseudo-psychobabbal. Please speak plainly and more concisely. It is not that I am stupid. I just don't see the point in complicating things.

I am still angry with my mother who passed away in 1994. This complicates my grief. It is as if my anger is preventing me from missing her.

LISa .. I AM SOO GRATEFUL for ur love .. and your powerful WORDS.. U are sooo tapped into the EXACT TRUTH ,.. thank YOU sooo very MUCH !! @ 45 min !! Oh mY!!! Soo beautiful to be on this empowering healing journey!! Its all about how ""WE"" handle everything … its all about our soul within .. and WE were NOT taught this .. I was, at least , told all My life growing up as a child, that I was here only for THEM !! ALL soo wrong !! But its alright, its all they choose to know. SOOO happy to KNOW our power is within us … YES we're it !!!
And IT IS soo BEAUTIFUL !!

GOD Bless u .. more and MORE Lisa !!! ♥♥♥ Namaste ' Love and light to u Always

Lisa, thank you for your videos. It is tremendous help. However having a community where you feel heard and safe is priceless. I asked to join your FB group for the second time. How long does it take to get approved? Or am I missing something?

The trigger for me was bullies in the neighborhood and my mom saying adults don't act like that..then I go to work expecting everyone to act civil and not gossip or get envious and competitive over childish things and it's like 2nd grade.

On a personal level I get ticked off! Spaghetti on the wall….good idea. There is life outside family.

@ 1:01:57ish, I was brought back to a quote, "We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing" -Henry Cloud. It stuck with me as much as "The unexamined life…"

Thank you for greatly for your helpful videos. My condolences for your Mom and dog’s passing. My Mom passed in July and my dog of 15 years in Aug. Both my parents have passed now. I’m still healing and processing.

You are better. Or you Trancended.the Ego mind. But when I stepped back from a heavy relationship and she moved my thoughts got bizzar. I made statements like " women are Angelic creatures. (Which you all are) sorry my 10 year old alter said that. Lisa like the rest you Are Beautiful. Live with It. Sorry.

Its cause I care. I didn't even know what decade I was in. McDonald's people wernt wearing their hats. Women no gloves.

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