3 Ways to Overcome Fears of Uncertainty while doing a Career Change & Starting a Side Hustle
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Hi everyone good morning and good
evening maybe that’s where you’re at and depending which part of the world you’re
from thank you for joining me live in our live learning today this is
something we’re experimenting with on our Facebook page to make it easy for
you to attend some of these live trainings in the past you’ve joined me
in live webinars or live trading in the past we’ve used a different system of
webinars to be able to get you this information but we thought hey why don’t
we use something that you’re on here quite often right and it gives a chance
for you to just come on in and not have to sign up for anything to watch our
training and we will be doing these things about once a month and it’s
really great for me because I get to interact with you live and collaborate
with you live here and be able to have these collaborative discussions around
all things with life and career transition building your site hustles
and creating that life of freedom and work of freedom that you’re probably
here to try to do for yourself so today’s topic is all about three ways to
overcome your fear of uncertainty so if you’re here to learn you’re probably in
the midst of some sort of change and if you’re joining me live I would love to
hear from you what sorts of change is currently going on in your life and what
what is it about your fear of uncertainty that you would love to learn
about today so this could be your personal life right things that are
going on and changes in your personal life
maybe it’s your work you’re looking to quit your job and doing something
different with your life or relationships are environmental anything
that you’re going through change with I would love to hear what is that what is
happening in your life today and what fears do you think is creeping up when
you feel uncertain now this is really normal to feel ungrounded and a little
bit you know frazzled when we are pursuing a path that is less ordinary
right no other maybe no one you know around your life is about to make the
changes that you’re about to make and there is the rules and guidebook for you
to sort of be tapping into you know a lot
times when we live a very conventional life a very traditional life most of
these rules have been given to us in some way right we kind of know we have
to go to go to go to university or go to school right we graduate hopefully with
a degree that will last us forever till the day retire that’s what we’ve been
told and you know we also know that in a particular type of profession or
vocation there is some rules around that you know how many years you have to be
in a position to be able to upgrade to a manager role or whatever credential that
you’re looking to go after there’s other people beyond you right that I’ve sort
of paved the path in some way to show you what these what you need to be doing
but however when you go off the beaten track when you don’t follow traditional
conventional rules which is why you’re here it can be exciting that you’re
finally taking control of your life and being creative in the way that you want
to reinvent your life and go towards the outcomes that you truly want to have but
then it also comes with this feeling of absolute overwhelm and fear because you
get to make up your own rules now right the power of freedom is exciting but
fucking scary at the same time and I think you know as much as you hear
success stories about how people have done what they’ve done it we also need
to talk a lot about that uncertainty period of time that you know a lot of
the emotional resilience that needs to be cultivated at this moment in time in
order to have you do the things that you want to do but I’ve never done before
right so our brains at this moment in time can really help us or it can really
project all sorts of stories right that can make you feel really panicked that
keeps you sort of stuck in where you think you should be it’s really hard to
play big when we feel so scared right and when we take this leap of faith when
we believe that if we take this leap of faith of what we’re about to do and this
can potentially lead to very disastrous outcomes and that will very likely send
all sorts of panic modes or panic alert bells in your head that will sort of
sabotage you right from making any move at all
so today’s collaborate collaborative discussion is we’re gonna really talk
about how to build your tolerance for change and uncertainty in order to live
your best version of your life where you do make up the rules but you’re also
really mindful about what you need to do for yourself in order to go through that
change and build that resilience for change and it’s not something that you
just sort of get up and it happens to you right it’s a muscle that you really
need to build so if you’re joining me live or watching the replay we do have a
resource for you that I’ve created to sort of help you follow through with
what we’re gonna be discussing today and it might be something you replay again
even if you’re joining me live here where you walk yourself through some of
these clarity questions that I’ve constructed for you to help walk you
through those these three points that we’re going to talk about today so if
you haven’t downloaded it already we have a guide and a resource tool with
these clarity questions I’ll be going through today that you can have handy as
you listen to this training where you can download it above this post that has
a link to it that will allow you to download that guide and follow through
as we walk through these questions together okay so that should be a
convertkit page where you can just enter your email and I’ll send it to you by
email and then you can download that Google Doc and follow through as we go
along okay so if you’re joining me live here or on the replay I do have a
question for you to get started I would love to know and you can post below this
video in the comments field is what scares you most about taking the leap to
an unfamiliar or uncertain path what scares you most about taking the leap to
an unfamiliar or uncertain path I would love to hear from you some of you guys
might be taking the leap into entrepreneurship some of you might be
taking the leap just to have the bravery to tell your spouse you’re about to
change jobs some of you may be actually moving countries and may be trying to
live some more more affordable for your escape plan and that is scary for you
whatever it is I would love to hear what scares you most about taking the leap to
an unfamiliar or in a certain path alright so as we introduce this topic
today what I want you to know is that in society we have been given these rules
as we talked about how to get to traditional trajectories of success
right we’ve learned it from our parents we’ve learnt it from our teachers we’ve
learned it from other people who are doing the same things so when we do
change our path it can feel really ungrounded and shaky to take that leap
into the unknown right and this uncertainty really fills
us with these feelings of fear panic and anxiety and then what we do is we start
to create these stories write these worst-case scenarios like if I start
this business and I fail I’ll be a laughingstock in my community or you
know I’ve been a lawyer for 20 years and now I’m wanting to be a novelist you
know what would people think of me maybe they’ll think I’m having a midlife
crisis too early or you know I’m giving up on something that I know how to do so
we always sort of make up a lot of these stories and it’s great to be mindful of
what these stories are because it kind of tells you a lot about your biggest
fear and we want to be able to utilize these fears appropriately nothing is
wrong with fear nothing’s wrong with feeling afraid that’s the first thing I
want to say nothing’s wrong with you every normal person has fear and fear
doesn’t it just doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be going forward with the path
that you want to be creating for yourself so when we do end up playing
small because of this fear we sort of play into our fears as well by either
never moving at all or moving very tentatively like sort of not fully
committing to that leap right and hence why a lot of times you might feel that
I’ve been thinking about these awesome goals that I want to make for my life
but they just never come into fruition it’s very likely it’s because you
haven’t gone all in you haven’t actually really navigated a lot of what your
fears are trying to tell you right in order to create the right action to
actually be able to do this effectively and to feel good while you do it you’re
sort of shoving it under the rug hoping that you’ll get brave but not actually
really moving towards doing anything at all right as I said very normal
occurrence when we’re about to do something big or something different in
our lives so what we wanted to try to do instead of this being very stuck point
of where we’re at is to build a tolerance for change and for tolerance
for uncertainty so that we can keep moving forward
despite the the fear so we’re gonna start with these
three lessons that I’ve learned personally myself on how I do this hi
Heather great for you to join us and all to share with you these three big
lessons that actually help move the needle for me and by the way you know
five-and-a-half years later of being an entrepreneur I am still scared shitless
of lots of things it doesn’t mean I have the superhero cape where I’ve just been
like the most bravest woman I ever have imagined
it’s just that I got I got a lot better and moving faster and moving despite the
fear and being able to actually self analyze and self assess and help myself
through that fear right rather than just remaining comfortable right and neutral
in the place that I’m in hey Betina all right let’s go into lesson one what’s
the first thing that I would want you to know about in terms of building your
tolerance and your resilience for change the first lesson is don’t avoid the
feeling of discomfort that is the number one thing you should stop doing is
feeling bad and shameful about having discomfort one of my favorite TEDTalks
speakers and you might have heard of her on the TED talk or named Susan David
she’s the author of emotional agility she says a quote that I love all about
this topic she says discomfort is the price of
admission to a meaningful life now that is such a refreshing take on not
actually going fight the fear and you know punch fear in the face and who
cares because actually we do care we do get emotionally fucked up when we feel
the feelings of failure and self-doubt you know and we have when we have
impostor syndrome for example we have to acknowledge that these feelings are
happening and there’s nothing wrong with fears have you ever watched ISM Davis
TED talk around emotional agility and emotional resilience she really talks
about actually allowing yourself to actually be empathetic and lean into
that fear because acknowledging it helps you to recognize what is trying to tell
you and also it gives you actual practical actions that you might need to
be cultivating in order to move past that fear now there is a lot of value in
fears if we choose to utilize it as a tool to give us clues for knowing what
actions we need to take very likely the fear is actually almost
like you know an alarm bell right oh wait a second we’re about to do
something abnormal I want I want you to be safe so why don’t we think about this
that’s what fears usually trying to tell you right but when we avoid feeling
scared when we don’t admit that we’re scared when we actually pretend to be
brave we sort of add this extra layer of weight and I feel that is this feeling
of shame and guilt anyone here feels shameful for not being brave or when you
look at other people making these big leaps or your friends starting
businesses so quickly or whatever it may be you’re like why not me why am I so
slow why am I so scared right so when you give yourself this hard time for
being a scaredy-cat you’re actually really in a way putting this extra
weight of shame and guilt that is not helpful to get to where you want to go
because when we feel shame and guilt right anytime we do that we become five
years old again and we’re like no not going anywhere
Chloe under the blankets I don’t want to deal with this because now you’ve added
an extra layer of feelings right so first you were just scared and now
you’re shameful of that fear right and that’s this extra layer we don’t need to
put upon ourselves so not sure if you guys do that to yourself
I sure do I’m very much of a perfectionist someone that likes to do
things without failing so when I feel scared I feel like I’m losing control
right I don’t have control over my my circumstance and that is something I’m
not used to having being someone who is a perfectionist and so when I feel
shameful I don’t ask for help I don’t go and get a mentor I don’t actually talk
about what I feel about my fear and that actually shoves it under the rug and
doesn’t give me any insight to play with and that can absolutely be happening to
you so instead of piling on the extra weight of shame and guilt I would like
for you to ask these questions and again if you download it the free document and
the free guide and clarity questions you’ll get these questions to go over
again after this training but here’s some of the questions to ask yourself
instead right when you start feeling these injections of fear ask yourself
what am I afraid of and why we want to get to the root of why the fear is
coming up right you might be actually sometimes say I’m afraid of doing my
business or creating a business that’s not
but if you keep asking why you’re afraid of that and kind of keep going down the
rabbit hole of asking why why why you might actually get to the root that a
lot of it might be things like being judged for failing right or losing an
identity that other people rely on you for or your family has rely on you for
and you can’t be successful in that identity anymore maybe it’s a fear of
success some people might think that if I’m actually successful
you know things might have to change around my life I might have to have more
boundaries around my relationships I might actually have to put myself first
when I choose this path and that can scare a lot of people I work with a lot
of moms as well by the way and moms feel huge shame all the time doing something
of their own because their identity has been tied to being a great wife being a
great mother you know and doing that first prioritizing other people and if
they were to put themselves first what they’re most afraid of us other people
are going to feel that they’re failing them or they’re abandoning them and they
don’t want that sort of identity with their family and friends and that might
actually be your fear you know so it’s really great to acknowledge what that is
another question to ask yourself is what am i hiding from right what am I really
hiding from so if I know what I need to do to get to where I need to go right
and I know what I’m afraid of but is willing to go through that fear but what
am I really hiding from maybe it’s that I do have a voice I recognize have a
voice to share hence why that’s my motivation to start a business for
example right or one more meaning in my my work so I’m wanting to take more
control over the way that I create my role but I might be hiding from that
because I may not feel that my voice is good enough or I might feel like I’m not
a new voice in the industry and will anyone listen to me right there could be
all sorts of reasons about what you’re hiding from and again it could be about
this new identity or new role you’re about to step into that you’re super
afraid to show up for another question to ask is am i afraid of the process or
the result now what I mean by that some people are afraid of the process because
they actually need to have steps right that you need to know I don’t have
clarity I know where my goal is but actually I don’t know how to get there
you know I might need to break it down further and that’s
the work that you need to do breaking down that work that is the journey or
the map to get to the goal of the result or it could be about the result to some
what if the goal changes everything else is my life what if I decide to actually
change my relationship sometimes that happens I’ve had people that change
their lives that end up getting a divorce that is not usually the outcome
that we want to you know advocate but that happens when you have a life change
other parts of your life could change so you wanted to identify what are you most
afraid of is it the process or the result and then lastly what’s the worst
case scenario and how likely is it going to happen so we talked a lot about your
brain injecting all sorts of worst-case scenarios right building up stories of
failure that can happen before you do something so what is that story you like
let your egoistic brain sort of pan that out let it have its way of talking and
sort of look and see where it’s bringing you a lot of my fears end up telling me
I’ll be homeless and alone anyone else have that same fear hey Ani nice to see
you honey and you know so really get through to
that story of what that ego was trying to tell you that could happen to you let
us have this worst-case scenario meltdown you know and purge but then
actually recognize like how likely is it gonna happen is this something am I
really gonna be homeless if I have a degree I could find a job elsewhere I
could make ends meet if I need to I could move in with my mother if
necessary it’s not ideal but I will not be on the street sometimes we have to
sort of take a look at what is actually realistic because fear tends to sort of
produce out all sorts of unrealistic scenarios that will never come true but
we need to sort of let it talk it out so that it has its say and it’s not shoved
under under the rug so if you’re listening today I have a question for
you what are you afraid of and why right so if you went through some of those
questions Jen you said you have that fear of being homeless I think we all do
sometimes when we’ve grown up in very sort of poor families like I have
definitely done that and I have a horrible relation with money back in the
day so you know that was a fear that came up for me but if I really looked at
all the times I’ve never been employed you know unemployed you know I’ve always
tried to be employed I know that I have skills to share even if it’s not my own
business you know that you can help yourself right and that sometimes you
have to put those conditions in place to allow your
or you know your your brain to sort of recognize there is an alternative plan
in case something doesn’t work out for you right so what are you afraid of get
real honest and this is where you might do it in this platform is what are you
afraid of and why right and go through some of the questions that you download
it to get through to those clarity questions all right lesson number two on
how to build your tolerance for uncertainty and change lesson number two
is identified the missing skill knowledge or awareness that can ease
your fears now you may have heard me say this before if you’ve attended other
trainings in the past is that fear is really just in my opinion a missing gap
of information a missing gap of knowledge skills and awareness that’s
very likely causing your anxiety and your fear if you don’t know something we
can actually have a proactive action to find out what those missing gaps of
information is for me so for people who are afraid to start a business for
example a very practical question or missing gap of information if I don’t
know my strengths enough to know what business to start I don’t know if my
strengths will be valued if I try to make money with it and those are good
questions like those are not questions to ignore you know and and and and I
think that’s something to explore you know in terms of what can I do about
this question that’s gonna allow me to ease this fear a little bit so some of
the questions you can ask here in this sort of second step is can I get more
information to gain better clarity what am I missing in terms of my own
self-awareness of my strengths or whatever it is that’s missing for you do
I have a knowledge gap about the thing that I’m about to do right so some
people I have you know talk about digital Maddison they’re like I want to
move to Bali just like you I want to move somewhere else and be location
dependent but the scares the shit out of me and that could be because you don’t
know what it feels like to live in a country like that you don’t know what it
feels like to make an income from a country like that you know what kind of
business to start maybe to make money from being abroad and that is the
missing gap you will need to get help with or explore or experiment or
research on in order for you to feel that you can move abroad right Jen you
said let me go back in there I think you said something about it just disappeared
the comment I think he said something about afraid
of being successful right just in case or not being successful sorry and you
might have to go back in the workforce right and that feeling of shame that
happens to a lot of people and a lot of times it’s all it’s all in our heads
we’ve sort of predetermined what people will judge us on and criticize us on but
your worst critic is very likely yourself and you’re probably the one is
that’s gonna judge yourself more than other people I think most people already
know you’re brave for trying to take that leap and even if you decide to
change paths or you might to get a part-time job they’re probably still
admiring you for even taking the leap because they’re not gonna do that as
much as you have you know so you have to give yourself kudos for giving a try and
know that even if you have to get a job that’s no shame in that we have to pay
the bills we have to feed the kids so we have to have a roof over our head and
it’s totally ok to have side side hustles right good draw I have clients
that drive uber you know or babysit or dog sit as a way of making a side income
you know while they pursue their core business because we know that income
doesn’t come right away and there’s no shame in doing all that as you
transition and you need to let go of that feeling of being perfect you know
feeling good about that which I think it starts from ourselves right Annie you
said your fear of not knowing what I’m good at
yeah that is a fear a lot of people have about leaving their jobs so your job is
not to perpetuate that fear right by just saying I don’t know what I’m good
at is that you say well what can I be good at what sorts of assessments can I
do to myself what do I need to get a coach a career coach or an
identification of skills assessment right just rich sort of look at my
inventory of jobs I’ve done in the past what I’ve been actually you know has
been meaningful for me to do and can I explore after trying out that role you
know so if I’m good at writing for example but I’ve never done it to make
an income could you just offer to write for other people for free you know
could you put yourself up on fiverr.com and actually do a thousand words to edit
someone’s manual or you know write a bio page for someone and test out your
skills before you can actually say I don’t have anything to offer right so
that idea of experimentation Annie for you is going to be really important so
that that fear isn’t creeping up the entire time another question to ask
yourself is what don’t I know about myself my motivation or my
use that should be driving my actions right a lot of times we might have these
dreams these goals of what we want to have this amazing paradise on the other
side of the rainbow but we have to know why that whole thing of what we’re
trying to achieve is important to us why is it more important than the fear
itself you know the cost of not pursuing my dreams the cost of not going after
something I’ve been thinking about for so many many moons you know what’s that
costing me to remain where where we’re at a lot of times we look at the cost of
failure the cost of light ship not working out but we also don’t look at
the cost of light well if I’m unwilling to go through that discomfort right and
trying new things what could also happen that’s really
costly for me forever if I don’t make a move right and what values and I really
you know driving my actions for change so for example if my value is truly
freedom right freedom to express myself freedom to do work I love freedom to
live from anywhere and I remain here as where I am that I’m not honoring my
values and do I want to live that way right so we have to be really honest
about what those values are and how that can actually be a lot of a higher
priority than the value of our fears and then lastly you only know what you know
so sometimes you have to sort of outsource your worries and outsource
your concerns to someone else to support systems that we can absolutely be
cultivating in our environment to actually instill newfound knowledge into
our into our circumstance so the question you can ask us do I know
someone who has been in this position where I am who can provide detail around
what currently feels abstract and scary so you can’t get that information or
things feel super hazy you’ve done your research you’ve done that self
accountability and self assessment and you’re still missing in like how can I
really do this what should I be doing you know to eliminate this fear or know
the rest of the right steps right to get to my goal you might actually need to
talk to other people is there anyone living a life that you currently are
hoping to lead or starting a business you want to start right or having being
able to hire a mentor or a coach or or some sort of advisor that can help you
they’ve done what you are planning to do it can
or cut you two answers you know we’re just having these conversations with
other people that might be taking a leak themselves you know they might have gone
through some ways of doing so that can be really helpful to you as you do this
change right don’t always try to take it on on your own it can be very lonely and
scary dealing with fear that way but actually find communities and find
people to outsource that worry to by asking that same question
so I have a question for you in this lesson what do you think is the missing
gap of knowledge skills or self-awareness that you need to find out
more about at this current moment it’s going to help you ease this fear a
little bit and I promise you if you sit with each of these questions one by one
and answer them from an honest place you will have clarity on what to do next
because your answers will provide information to really create an action
list from an empowered place and really allow you to grow and succeed so share
with me what do you think is your missing gap of knowledge and skills and
awareness that can help you if you know that answer whether it’s outsourcing it
or finding it out you’re on your own can help you get to your goal in a much more
easier way okay let me know in the comments okay
lastly lesson number three build your tolerance for uncertainty by making
micro decisions okay so as I mentioned in the beginning I wasn’t very brave
myself I still am not always the bravest person in the room but what I do do
really well in these days is I make smaller decisions in order to allow
myself to be closer to the bigger goal and the bigger dream that I have for my
life and for my business for anything that I choose to do that is my better
version of life now most humans are not like a Tony Robbins style person we
aren’t just people that face adversity really well and just sort of go I can do
this and I could just you know talk myself into doing things you know Tony
Robbins is a beast of a man and he’s amazing and he that’s why he doesn’t
what he does but most of us may not be in that state of mind or even in a
circumstance at the moment that you know that that really makes us feel very
brave and that’s really normal I think 99% of people are here because most of
us are not a will jump off a cliff and hold a parachute opens kind of people we
are people that take calculus wrists where people that need to feel
some safety net we need some safety net to make small jumps right so we need to
sort of dictate for ourselves what is that next safety net we have to create
in order for us to just move slowly and more sustainably towards our big goals
because the truth is incremental decisions and actions are really what
gets you to your goal in more of a sustainable way and less of an emotional
burdening way when you can do things slowly right slowly but surely but you
do something right something small every single time so to not scare the shit out
of yourself and talk yourself out of things more often than not because
you’ve jumped way too fast or you’re over planned things you have too high of
expectations for yourself we do need to take smaller bites right towards our
goals to really ease ourselves into courage right that’s the only way to
build that muscle of resilience and build that muscle of courage so whenever
you feel really scared when you look at your goal and you go holy shit that
feels so far that feels like something I can’t achieve right away you’re right so
what can you do instead right in order to make this work for you so instead of
looking at what won’t work what is hard what is difficult or what feels hard
shift your focus to what can work what can I do what can I be accountable for
today and capable of doing today that can let this be easy right if it feels
too difficult you’ve you’ve chewed off too big of a step right or you haven’t
found enough information to make that step and that’s where your work should
be at okay and I always love asking myself whenever I feel a bit trumped by
what to do next this what does one small thing I can do today to honor the goals
that are important to me just one thing and that could be just picking up the
phone and calling someone that can get me out of this rut of feeling bad about
myself or one thing I can do is actually just stop thinking about the future and
focus on what I can do for to really help with my environment today you know
or do one small thing you know with Annie you said I don’t know what I might
be good at right I mean I don’t know what I can do with my skills that maybe
one of the things to do is not to know our business to start but actually to go
what am I good at let me take up no to pad of paper out and actually start
taking inventory of skills and I know how to do things that I know that other
people may not know how to do and I can give value publicly with it and it might
be something to experiment with that can be a great place to start in something
very doable then let’s just start a business today right that’s too big of a
goal to me and one really big important question to really ask yourself here is
what am I willing to tolerate to have what’s really important to me I really
love this question because you know one of my favorite writers is Mark Manson
right and Mark Manson says you know every decision you’re ever gonna make
you’re gonna eat a shit sandwich right and and you got to discover or identify
with shit sandwich you’re willing to swallow because anything that you do
even if you’re passionate about something even if you found your passion
which you thought great that is awesome that passion will still come with a shit
sandwich that passion will still have a cost in a way of pursuing it but we want
to at least make that thing that you’re about to pursue really worthwhile that
you’re willing to actually tolerate some of these shit sandwiches you’re about to
eat because the reward of that that that goal or that reward of that decision is
going to or you know be a lot more rewarding and a lot more it Trump’s you
know that fear that you’re going to feel while doing it so for example if you’re
an artist okay you love to sell your your paintings or your art or you love
to design right what if you want to be an artist and you want to be known to be
an artist you want to advocate for yourself as an artist you’re gonna need
to tolerate being rejected because that’s what happens to artists and
musicians and creative people I’m not an art person I can barely draw a stickman
but I do look at my work as a piece of art right I write about the things I
care about when I teach something it comes from my heart it doesn’t really
come too much from the logical Prine and that’s something around the passion that
I’m you know backing but to put myself out there to talk to you guys today live
like people could be like you’re full of shit and I don’t believe what you’re
saying or I don’t want to do that you know I’m going to have to tolerate this
idea of being rejected and criticized in order to advocate for my art so to me
everyone is an artist in some form or another you don’t have to be a musician
or a writer or a painter to be an artist your
putting creative things out there to help in the world and you will be
criticized and you will have naysayers and people that don’t believe in your
work but you’ll have to tolerate that shit sandwich because the idea of
actually impacting some people and being able to say your thing and spread your
voice around the world and spread your message that might actually be the thing
that you’re most rewarded with but you also have to deal with this right that
the toleration of being rejected and that’s something to accept and when we
can accept that some of our goals and decisions we’re about to make in life
will come with hard things then you’re less likely to beat yourself up about
going through some of that uncertainty and going through a bit of those hard
moments of you know rejection or difficulty or failure because it’s just
part of the formula nothing’s wrong has happened to you and when we don’t feel a
feeling of wrongness then we don’t feel as much much of that shame and that
guilt we just talked about in the beginning right less of that weight of
shame and guilt so what I would love to hear from you is also what’s one small
thing post in the comments below if you were to look at that fear that you have
or the uncertainty that you have about moving forward with a goal that you have
what is just one small thing you can do today right like just I said pick up the
phone write a list of inventory do some research what is that one small
bite-size action that can be done in like an hour that can help you at least
honor the goal even if not going to get you there right away is a step forward
towards it so as you do more of these micro decisions in your life making
small decisions right towards your goal instead of taking a big chunk you can
really build this tolerance through this muscle because muscles built through
experience because a lot of times when you do fail which you will you can
actually say oh I totally failed there I fucked it all up but I didn’t die right
and didn’t really it wasn’t the last thing that ever happened to me and I can
get up again dust myself off and begin again
right but we do need that exposure therapy to be able to face reality see
that actually what we’ve concocted in our stories and our worst-case scenarios
did not happen and that’s going to help us to actually do that better again over
and over again right exposure therapy is your friend and we do that a lot
definitely in you know my students in the Academy or the retreat that we run
we call this imperfect action and we also call this scare sighted scare
sighted is being scared about doing something but you’re also really excited
is usually the indicator you’re about you want to do that think really badly
you’re not just excited a lot of things you’re about to do well and you want to
do bigger in your life will come with those mixed feelings of being excited
and really scared shitless and that’s the sign you should be looking for if
you’re just like oh my god this is awesome and I’m not scared at all you
may not actually be playing that big you might actually just not be at the cusp
of your comfort zone and it may not be exactly the biggest piece of what you
want to do right so build your tolerance for uncertainty by making micro
decisions alright so hopefully that was helpful for you those three steps on how
to overcome your fear of uncertainty and build your tolerance for change they’re
very practical very doable that you can start doing today if you are been you
have been mulling over right some things to change in your life and what you want
to make some moves on not everything is done overnight we do have to have the
patience and we have to build that mastery of how we deal with change and
how to deal with their emotional resilience that is just something you
cultivate from you know that’s overnight right that just puts on this brave face
to do it we have to really analyze a lot of our behavior a lot of what we’re
saying to ourselves and our mindset in our inner languaging that’s either
keeping us stuck on where we don’t want to be or moving us forward with more
positive reinforcement and actions always get great for that right clarity
always comes from imperfect action so if again if you haven’t done that already
there is a downloadable which is a resource of a guide and these clarity
questions that we went over today that you can sit alone on a coffee shop or
you know get a glass of wine and just start actually reflecting on those
questions for yourself so that when you’re about to tackle that things that
feels really scary this can really ease your fears a little bit and ease you
into the confidence that you need to feel to pursue the best version of your
life and your work thank you guys for joining me as I said we go on live for
these live learnings once a month and we always love to hear from you so if
there’s anything that you would love to learn in future life learnings what we
can do to be of service to you what we can break down just like what we did
today to help you move for with your big goals all you have to do
is ask so comment below the video on this livestream or if you’re watching
this replay and we’ll make sure to make sure that we’re creating these lessons
for you for free so that you can continuously collaborate and learn with
us on a virtual level and share with us on what you’re learning in this
community thanks so much for joining me and I’ll see you guys in our next live
learning. Have a good day. Bye!

You are so awesome! Channel this great should have at least 250k subs or so …. keep up the good work, I learn a lot from listening to you. Can't wait for your next session.

Enjoying your videos! I recently left my career to pursue being an artist and whilst there are shit sandwiches at the moment, I feel more aligned than ever before with who I am.
Look forward to watching more of your helpful content!

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